Page 170

Adrien shifts beside me, sitting up straighter, pulling the blanket back up over my lap without being asked.

“Yeah. I took it off when I got back yesterday, remember?”

I fumble for the right words, but my throat closes up. An ugly, hot sting builds behind my eyes, and before I can tell myself to stop, I’m already blinking away tears. I lower my head, so Adrien can’t see them, but it’s too late.

It’s so stupid, self-absorbed, embarrassing. I should feel relieved, or grateful, or something besides this hollow ache, but I just feel scraped raw and left out in the cold. I pull the blanket higher, clutching it to my chest, but it doesn’t help at all.

Adrien leans closer. “Hey.” His voice is gentler this time, the way I imagine you’d talk to a hurt animal. “Look at me, Kammie.”

I shake my head hard.

“Kammie, sweetheart, come on.” He waits me out, patient and steady, and something about the way he says it—like I’m a person worth waiting for—cracks me open worse than before.

“It’s just—” I start. My voice shudders. “You took it off.”

The bed dips with his weight as Adrien scoots even closer. “Yeah, I took it off. Because I said I would. You remember what I told you?”

“Not really,” I whisper.

He reaches over, his big hand settling on the back of my neck, applying just the right pressure to anchor me. “I said if you kept being good, I’d take the cuffs off and let you prove I can trust you.”

That doesn’t make sense. I don’t feel good. I feel like a dog that’s just been let off leash at the pound and doesn’t know what to do with itself.

“But—” My voice splinters on the word. “You said you wanted to keep me. You said—” My face crumples, mortifyingly childish. “I thought you wanted to take care of me.”

There’s a split second of silence, then Adrien’s thumb strokes along the side of my neck, grounding and unhurried. “Kammie, I do want to take care of you. That hasn’t changed.”

I duck my head, but he’s not letting me hide. He waits until I risk glancing up, then meets my gaze straight on. His eyes are tired and bloodshot, but soft.

“Listen to me, okay?” he says quietly. “I took the cuffs off because you earned it. Because I trust you. Not because I want you any less.”

My heart drums out a sick, hopeful beat. “But you said yesterday—about… about being Daddy, and…”

“I meant it,” he interrupts, firm. “If you want that, it’s yours. I’ll give you every bit of it. But you deserve more than just being cuffed to a bed. You deserve to know you’re safe, no matter what.”

I let out a small, pitiful sound, and Adrien pulls me in, blanket and all, until I’m cocooned in his chest and arms. His chin rests on the crown of my head, and we just stay like that while I try to get my breathing under control.

I don’t know how long it takes, but eventually the panic ebbs, and I’m left feeling empty and exhausted, but weirdly okay.

“You just… you said that locking me up is you keeping me safe, and—and then I wasn’t anymore…” I try to explain, a little embarrassed by my outburst.

“Oh, honey,” Adrien says, and I can hear the smile in his voice even though I can’t see his face from where I’m mashed into his chest. “That’s too fucking cute.”

I’m about to protest, but he twists his hand into my hair, ruffling it until I peep out at him, and the look in his eyes sucks the fight right out of me. He looks at me like I’ve just done the most endearing thing in the world, not like I’m a grown man who just teared up about not being handcuffed to a bed anymore.

“You really are a little, aren’t you?” he says, voice low and warm. “I take off the cuffs, and you think I don’t want to keep you anymore.”

I grumble into his shirt, and he presses a kiss to my temple again. I’m starting to think it’s his favorite spot.

“Kammie,” he soothes, “you want to be locked, collared, all of it—I’ll take care of it.” Something in my stomach squirms, a knot I didn’t notice until he loosened it. “And just because you’re not chained to the bed doesn’t mean you’re going anywhere,” he adds, gentle but matter-of-fact. “You are very much still locked in this house. So unless you plan on tunneling your way out, you’ll have to put up with me fussing over you for a while.”

I stifle a laugh, because the idea of me tunneling out is so ridiculous it almost hurts. Adrien’s hand settles on the back of my neck again, and I relax into the touch, letting him hold me up.

“I’m not letting you go,” he says, and there isn’t an inch of doubt in his voice.

I swallow, and my throat feels thick but better. “But you don’t… you don’t have to do all this,” I mumble. I’m not even sure what ‘this’ is, but he seems to get it.

He laughs, softer than before. “I want to.”