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“Of course.”
My stomach twists. “Is it… do I have to… use it?”
“Not unless you want to,” he says, and laughs gently. “If you ever do, though, I’ll clean you up. No questions, no judgment. It’s not about that. It’s just about what makes you feel… cared for.”
I nod, not trusting myself to say more. My face is probably the color of a ripe tomato by now.
“Um… maybe later then?” I finally manage.
Adrien nods. “Good idea, sweetheart. You can try one on after your bath.”
I think I’m going to combust.
“Oh, I, um… I get another bath today?”
“Uh-huh.” Adrien’s palm rests warm on my thigh. “I figured we’d get you all clean and try some new things after.”
My chest tightens. I know what that means—naked, sitting in the tub with Adrien kneeling over me, all of his attention on every inch of me, just like last time.
Just the thought makes me squirm inside my fuzzy slippers, pink rabbits smirking up at me while I press my knees together and try to look unfazed.
“‘Kay,” I mumble, going back to my coloring.
The next delivery comes maybe an hour later and is smaller than the rest, a brown cardboard box no bigger than a shoebox, taped shut along the seam.
Adrien looks especially interested in this one.
“What is it?” I ask.
He doesn’t answer right away; instead, he brings the box over to the couch, sits down, and opens it while it’s balanced on his knees.
Inside is a set of little bottles, nestled in a cardboard divider like eggs in a carton.
I’m immediately catapulted back to when I was ten, even the smell of Steven’s aftershave filling my nose.
I brace myself for the next hit—
“…Breathe, sweetheart,” Adrien instructs.
His voice reaches me from very far away.
The room blurs.
I know Adrien is in front of me because something warm closes around my hands, but my brain won’t make sense of the sensation. My fingers are curled so tightly around themselves that my nails hurt my palms, and I’m dimly aware that I’m shaking.
“Kammie.” Adrien’s voice is lower now, closer. “Look at me.”
I can’t.
The little bottles on the coffee table are all I can see.
Pink.
Lavender.
Blue.
Mint.