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But his face was unreadable as he passed the phone back. Then, he suddenly stood. “I’d better let you get back to it. Sorry for the intrusion.”

I opened my mouth, then quickly clamped it shut again. For a couple of seconds I had no idea what to say. My brain struggled to reconcile the Kerr who had been laughing with me only a few minutes ago to this blank-​faced version towering above me, showing zero emotion when I was clearly devastated.

Perhaps I had been wrong in thinking we had any common ground, any connection. After all, he had called me expressive. Perhaps that had been code for “inappropriate.” For “too much.”

Regaining the use of my legs, I stood too, and led the way to the front door. I opened it to see him out, setting my face into an expression as neutral as his. Though I’m not sure I achieved it.

He passed by, pausing to give me a nod. “See you later.” And then he walked out, heading for home across the street.

I closed the door before he’d even taken his second step down the driveway.

17

Kerr

I HATED BEING off work, but Ranjeeta had told me that if I showed my face she’d cut my balls off. I thought that was a touch violent, but I also wouldn’t put anything past her. She was bloody scary when she wanted to be.

Katie, my friend who was a vet in the neighboring town, was kindly looking after my patients while I was on sick leave. We had a little arrangement to do this for each other whenever required. I had overseen her patients when she needed gallbladder surgery the previous year, but she had been off for a couple of weeks, whereas I was planning on only taking today. But I was aware that I’d have to battle Ranjeeta to get over the threshold tomorrow. Hopefully, balls intact.

Being at home “resting” was giving me cabin fever. I was used to being busy. And it didn’t help that my mind was buzzing with thoughts of Nisa. First, the what-​ifs of that fire. What if she had been asleep when it started? Or if I had stayed asleep and hadn’t been there to help? She would definitely have gone back in for Izzy herself.

Second, the look of utter devastation on her face when she read that message yesterday. Before I’d read it, I was confused about why a text from her ex would cause such a strong reaction. Surely they had had to message each other before now? But then I read the damn thing and everything made sense. It certainly had not been the functional sort of message that Aileen and I sometimes exchanged, such as I found your black jumper if you want to come and pick it up, or Dave the dog is due his worming treatment, can you fit him in at work?

Even so, whenever Aileen chose to directly let me know she was expecting, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t feel much except for relief that she was not only moving on but putting down roots. Then I wouldn’t have to feel so guilty that she had wasted her time with me. However, the situation was clearly very different with Nisa and Drew. Nisa had been broken up over that message, and I suspected it was because she was very much not over Drew and still wanted him back. Did he know that? If so, sending that information in a text and with such a tone—​both blunt and flippant at the same time—​was unforgivable.

My jaw tensed as I thought about it. I had needed to excuse myself, give her some space. I certainly did not enjoy anyone seeing me when I was upset, and I had assumed Nisa would be the same. Especially when it was me, the guy who she couldn’t stand, witnessing her heartbreak. I had done the decent thing and gotten out of her space so that she could process what had happened.

I looked out the window, over to her house. How was she feeling today? About the fire, and the pregnancy? I wanted to go over there to find out, but I didn’t want to overstep the mark.

Just then, Aileen messaged.

Morning. Just wondering if you might be able to walk Dave after you finish work? I’m a little under the weather and won’t make it out today.

I didn’t hesitate to answer, because my spirits immediately lifted at the thought of seeing my pal today.

No problem at all. I can actually come and pick him up now if you like? Day off today.

That would be great. But why are you off? You never take a day off.

Tell you when I get there.

And when I did get there I suspected she would tell me the real reason she was feeling “under the weather.” Morning sickness, no doubt. Aileen would know that I wouldn’t react badly to this news, but even so she’d have the decency to tell me in person. Unlike some people.

*

“Fetch!” I called, sending the chunky stick flying down the snowy lane. Dave went bounding after it, cutting cleanly through the snow like butter, his black body contrasting sharply with the gleaming white covering the lane, the bushes, the trees, and the adjacent field to our right.

The sky, on the other hand, was a bright blue, not a cloud in sight, and the sun shone down on the fluffy white snow, making it gleam as I strolled through it in my wellies. Although we still awaited the first snowfall of the season in town, there was snow aplenty here, a little higher in the countryside. And this is exactly what I had needed. Time out in the hills with my black Lab pal, a stretch of my legs, and crisp, clean air in my lungs.

I was still thinking about Nisa though. How devastated she’d looked when she’d read that message. Every time I thought about it my chest twisted a little tighter.

Her face was like an open book, easy to read. It was refreshing, not having to guess what she was thinking, what she was feeling. She’d never struggled with expressing herself, in my limited experience.

What would that be like? To be able to openly feel and express your emotions? To wear your heart on your sleeve and be proud of it? To be honest, I found it kind of . . . admirable.

Dave came bounding back to me, eyes wide with joy and carrying his prize stick in his mouth. I bent down to tug it away from him, and we had a playful tussle for a few seconds before I threw it for him again. As it landed down the lane, just before it turned to the right, I realized there was someone else past the bend. Someone in a bright red snow jacket and a pink bobble hat, holding their phone in the air above their head and moving it around erratically.

I slowed, hoping they’d move off, because I felt like being alone today. But they stayed put, seemingly cursing their phone. And as I neared, I recognized that voice. Honey with just the right amount of smoky whiskey. Her dark wavy hair flowing from under the pink beanie onto her shoulders.