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With my face hidden, I rushed through the description of what had happened.

“Oh my God…” Brinley leaned all the way toward me. Her voice dropped so low you’d think there were fifteen people in the other room when it was just us. “You two did have sex?”

My head shook. “No. Almost sex,” I reiterated.

She scowled and sat back in her chair. “Um, I think it counts. His penis was inside you.”

“I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be walking right now if his penis had actually been inside me,” I whispered back just as low, glancing around like I was going to get caught.

“Penis. Vagina. Sex.” She made some kind of obscene gesture with her fingers. Thrusting in just the tips of two fingers.

I giggled into my wine glass. I didn’t know how we found any lightness in the middle of it. “There was no thrusting, believe me.”

She arched a disbelieving brow. “But he came?”

“He started to, then he pulled out and did it all over the inside of my thigh.”

More redness, but God, it felt good to have someone who I could talk with about this. Someone I could fully trust to listen to me. Support me.

Concern rolled through her expression. “You are on the pill?”

I gulped. “No.”

Brinley blew out a flustered sigh. “Unacceptable. The second you finish your next period, you’re starting. I’m going to get in touch with the club doctor first thing tomorrow and get it organized.”

I started to protest, but she held up a finger. “This one, my sister, is nonnegotiable. Silas won’t know about it. I promise. You tell him whatever you need to or want to on your schedule.”

I bit down on my bottom lip. “Part of me wants to tell you this is unnecessary, but I’m really hoping that it is.”

“I think it’s safe to say it’s necessary. There is no way Trevan would have even gone there if he wasn’t mad over you. He doesn’t strike me as the type of guy to mess around like that, and one thousand percent he wouldn’t do it with you.”

My heart fluttered.

“Pretty sure my sister is about to get herself some big D. The really yummy kind you’ve been craving most.” Brinley lifted her glass in a toast.

I couldn’t stop the roll of laughter, and once we started, we couldn’t stop. Giggles bubbling over. We’d trail off, then glance at each other and start all over again.

A reprieve from the worry that had held us hostage the entire afternoon. Letting go, exactly the way we needed to do.

It finally tapered off, and my chest clutched as I thought of the two times I’d tried to stretch my wings. The pain it’d wrought. It made me both want to shrink and fly. “But what if I’m wrong? What if I’m taking one of those chances that are only going to end in tragedy?”

I whispered it, my own dirty secret.

Brinley threaded our fingers together on top of the table. “The only tragedy here is if you don’t try, Elena. And if he doesn’t meet you there, then you move on. But you chase your heart’s desires, you don’t hide them.”

Thickness filled my throat.

“It knows. It knows,” I murmured a piece of the promise she always made.

Your heart will know. And this love I felt was not a burden.

Her nod was emphatic. “It knows. And it’s time for you to demand what it needs. You stand for you, Elena. Stand for your life. Stand for your love.”

“Thank you.”

“I love you so much.” She squeezed my fingers tighter.

“Pretty sure I love you more.” Moisture gathered in my eyes. “I got a sister and a best friend.”