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I press a kiss to her hair, then another. I want so desperately to ease our fear and lighten the moment that I mumble, “For the record, you’re never allowed to moan about ethics to me again.”

My chest loosens slightly when she laughs. “I never said I don’t break the law. It was morality that we disagreed about.”

I let out a tired exhale. We still have so much to talk about. But for now, I’m just relieved to have her safe in my arms.

Holding her closer, we sit in silence for the rest of the ride.

THIRTY-SEVEN

CHARLI

The entire way back to his apartment, Lucas stays attached to me. He never once lets me out of his sight or his arms. But that’s okay, because I’m still shaking and could use the comfort.

I’m not surprised that Nico and Alexander walk us all the way up to Lucas’s apartment, but after an unspoken conversation between all the brothers, both Alexander and Nico lie down on the living room couches. It’s late, and we’re all exhausted. Lucas throws them both giant blankets from the closet and says, “You know where everything is. I’m taking Charli to bed.”

I watch as the brothers settle into more comfortable positions. I guess they’re staying over.

Lucas wraps an arm around my shoulders and turns toward the bedroom, but after a moment, he stops and turns around.

“Thank you,” he says quietly to his brothers.

They both nod wordlessly.

I don’t fight Lucas as he leads me to his bedroom. I’m too tired, too frazzled, too shell-shocked to do anything but follow directions.

He peels my clothes off with the gentlest touch, then slides one of his t-shirts over my head. His expression remains blank. I have no idea what he’s thinking besides the occasional flash of fear that appears in his eyes when he catches mine.

I’ll deal with this tomorrow.

I let him tuck me into bed, and I burrow into his chest when he climbs in beside me. His scent is comforting, his arms more so. Because regardless of everything, Lucas saved me. He’s a good man.

Which is what makes this even harder than before.

I know how this is going to end.

My dreams are listless, the sleep just enough to knock the edge off the adrenaline from tonight. But when I wake up a few hours later, the dawn light breaking over the horizon, my decision is the same as it was when I fell asleep.

Shitshow evening or not, nothing has changed. I still need to leave.

I move quietly around the bedroom. I hadn’t gotten to Lucas’s room when I packed up earlier, so I still have a few random items that I need to collect.

I’m reaching for the bedroom door when I hear Lucas’s voice behind me.

“You’re leaving?”

My eyes slide closed as I pull in a deep breath. And then I spin around.

“Yes,” I answer simply.

Hurt flashes in his eyes as he watches me from bed. “Why? I thought…”

“Thought what?” I ask gently. “Nothing’s changed, Lucas.”

He sits up with a frown. “Bullshit. Everything has changed. I—” He shakes his head and tries again. “Charli, please. Just take a second. We went through a huge ordeal last night. Can’t we just relax for a minute and come back to this conversation later?”

My intention isn’t to hurt him here. “Exactly. We went through a huge ordeal, and you’re reacting emotionally. But when you look at it logically, nothing has changed, Lucas.” I move closer and take a seat at the end of the bed. “I have my job. You have yours. Our priorities are different. And just because something really scary happened tonight, it doesn’t mean that we would suddenly be a good fit.”

“No, but…wait—” He throws the blankets off and slides closer. “We are a good fit. You know we are. We get along great, we have fun, we even work well together. You won’t even give us a try?”