Page 92

“I overheard him as he told Mr. Walker that the beast has moved further north, and they think it is heading back to Scotland.” Elizabeth tilted her head and pouted. “Please! I am so tired of being in this house!”

Georgiana pondered the situation for just a moment, before rolling the ball back to her child. “If you will watch Miss Millie, I shall find Mrs. Reynolds and arrange for a basket of goodies, as well as blankets to sit on—oh, and for the phaeton to be readied. The ponies are easily handled, and we shall only go as far as the other side of the lake.”

Georgiana vacated the room while Millie took her place in front of Elizabeth, red ball in hand.

“Eee Lee ... ball!” Millie declared, using her version of Elizabeth’s name. Drawing the beautiful, tousled-haired girl into a tight hug before setting her back on her feet, Elizabeth took the offered treasure.

“Yes, darling. You have a bright, red ball. Watch it bounce across the room.” Elizabeth made it skip across the wide, open area, and Millie ran after it, giggling the entire time.

~~~*~~~

The air was beginning to cool as the sun sank lower in the sky, and it was tempting to stay a little while longer. Having eaten hours before, Elizabeth and Georgiana were lying about on the blankets spread on the grass. Millie lay between them, asleep, and occasionally Georgiana would brush from her eyes the one stray curl that the wind would just not leave alone.

Various birds, having gotten their energy back with the lower temperatures, were now flitting back and forth from tree to tree in vigorous pursuit of each other, and Elizabeth was enjoying watching them as she lay on her back.

“It is so peaceful here,” she sighed, rolling on her side and propping on one elbow.

Her gaze drifted to a small family of ducks playing in the pond that fed into the larger lake. The pond was situated just below a gentle waterfall that cascaded down a rocky slope. Overhead there were numerous outcroppings of large flat rocks that baked in the sun, but the little oasis below them was lined with large shade trees that offered a cool place to have their picnic and rest. To the right, a large meadow covered with all manner of wildflowers stretched as far as the eye could see.

“Yes, I barely remember it, as I was just a little older than Millie the first time I came here with my family. That was not many years before Mama ...” As Georgiana faltered, Elizabeth reached to squeeze her hand. Georgiana took a deep breath and nodded. They had developed a natural affinity, and words were not needed to communicate.

Elizabeth changed the subject. “It warms my heart to see Millie so happy, so loved.”

Georgiana smiled as she turned to look at her child. “My heart aches with love for her, and I want to give her everything she could possibly desire. Evan and I could not love her any more if she had been born to us.”

“So, when will your husband return?” The question brought a fleeting expression of sorrow that was not lost on Elizabeth.

“I am sorry. I should not have mentioned—”

“No, it is a perfectly normal thing to ask.” Georgina interrupted. “Ignore my melancholy.”

Elizabeth smiled wanly. “I will, if you ignore mine.”

Georgiana nodded; Elizabeth’s subdued manner that day had not gone unnoticed. It was evident that she missed Fitzwilliam, and that had been a primary motivation for Georgiana to arrange the picnic.

“To answer your question, Evan expects to be gone two more days. By then, his late father’s wife should be settled in her new home, and he can return.” She sighed heavily. “I do not understand it. I am not a weak person in any sense of the word, but I feel like such a child when he is gone. I feel lost.”

Elizabeth reached to take her hand. “You love him very much ... that is all. It is only right that you should feel an emptiness when you are apart.” Then staring into space as though seeing something Georgiana could not, she continued, “It is a void that no other person can fill.”

“You understand me so completely.” Georgiana sighed, and then sobered as she watched her companion divert her eyes to the distant hills in order to hide her tears.

Though the tears did not fall, Elizabeth’s demeanour spoke of anguish. It was at that moment that Georgiana recognised the impossible struggle this woman was going through—that Elizabeth loved her brother as deeply as she loved her husband. Never had she looked at the relationship from that standpoint. She had only prayed that Fitzwilliam would overcome his love for the young woman in order to live a normal life, without considering how devastating all of this must be to Elizabeth.

Now it was Georgiana’s turn to comfort. Using one finger, she touched Elizabeth’s chin, directing the teary eyes back to hers.

“You share the same feelings for my brother—I know. You feel the void, too, even when he is away only for the day.”

It was not a question, and Elizabeth examined Fitzwilliam’s sister for a long time before speaking. Clearly, she no longer feared being completely honest with her, and she trusted the truth would go no further.

“I ... I have missed him, longed for him.” Shaking her head as though doing so would rid her of the lump in her throat, she finished hoarsely. “By the time I returned to Hertfordshire from our encounter in Kent, I realised how foolish I had been, letting my pride overrule my heart. I recognised that I had rejected a man that I actually loved. Later, when the count ...” She breathed raggedly, waiting until she could master her voice. “I realised that Fitzwilliam was lost to me forever, and I wanted to die.”

She met Georgiana’s shocked look. “I was too much of a coward to do anything like that, but thereafter I lived with this ... this ...” She struggled for the words. “What do I call it? Ache? Relentless pain? There are simply no words dreadful enough to say how much I regretted him.”

Georgiana moved to slide an arm around Elizabeth’s shoulder. “And now that you are here?”

“It is unbearable to be near him but not with him. It is a sweet torture.”

“Oh, Elizabeth. I am so sorry. Until now, I never really understood how deeply you love him.”