Page 49

London

The Morgans’ Townhouse

As Jane stood before the mirror in her dressing room eyeing the black bombazine gown she wore, she let go a heavy sigh. Regardless of their engagement, she had informed Mr. Darcy that she was determined to wear black until after her child was born because she felt it was the least she could do to honour David. In addition, if a widow and expectant mother dressed in black bombazine offended the guests at the Matlocks’ dinner party, that was not her concern. Moreover, William had assured her that whatever she wore would suffice.

She already regretted not being able to mourn David properly by appearing in public too soon, and being engaged already was even harder for her to settle in her heart—thus, the mourning attire. Still, she reasoned, the barrister must have good reasons to press her to do as he instructed and become engaged hurriedly. In addition, she trusted Mr. Darcy’s judgement enough to comply.

Suddenly, her sister Catherine appeared in the doorway. Seeing Jane’s frown, she tried to raise her spirits by saying, “I am so glad that I do not have to accompany you. You are the only woman I know who looks beautiful entirely in black.” Catherine motioned to the gown she had on and laughed. “I cannot even compete with you whilst you are in mourning, so if I were you, I would not worry about making a good impression on Mr. Darcy’s relations or those members of the ton Lady Matlock hopes to convince that you will be an appropriate Mrs. Darcy.”

“From what Mr. Darcy said, I do not think Lady Matlock will be a very staunch advocate, for she freely admits that she does not think me appropriate. Still, he is certain his aunt will act the part of the doting relation. If she will only be civil, I can live with that.”

Catherine tilted her head as she brought a finger to her chin in contemplation. “What I cannot fathom is why Mr. Darcy agreed to engage himself to you when we all know he is in love with Lizzy—or was, before he left Hertfordshire.” As Jane studied her sister, hoping for clarification, Catherine noticed and hurriedly continued. “However, he has always been so private—never trying to convince anyone of his sincerity or explain his reasons for anything he does. So, I imagine we will not learn his motive unless he decides to tell you.”

Jane reached for the pearl necklace David had given her on their wedding day and brought it to her neck. Biting her lip to keep from crying as she fastened it, she said, “It was no secret that I married David to save our family from even more ruin, but I came to care deeply for him. Still, in my wildest dreams I did not expect someone of Mr. Darcy’s stature to ask for my hand, and I find it frightening.”

“I do not understand.”

“I have never said this to anyone, but I was never comfortable being touted as the ‘beauty of the family,’ as Mama always referred to me. That is one reason Mr. Bingley suited me perfectly, for he was pleasant looking but not as handsome as Mr. Darcy. Exceedingly handsome men bring out my insecurities.”

“I do not know why. You are just as beautiful as they are handsome.”

“But beauty only lasts for a time and then it fades. I have none of the qualities that Lizzy possesses. Her intellect is just as keen as Mr. Darcy’s. In fact, I was relieved when I saw that Lizzy was clearly his choice.”

“But you are engaged to him now,” Catherine stated. “What has changed?”

“I cannot say anything has changed. He is just as handsome and intimidating as always; however, I must now consider my children and marry again for their sakes. That fact forced me to face my fears. I cannot explain why he chose to engage himself to me; I can only accept the advantages that it offers.”

“Have you considered trying to improve yourself by reading extensively? In so doing, you might be able to debate with Mr. Darcy as Lizzy used to do.”

“I could read every newspaper in London and every book in all the libraries Mr. Darcy owns and never comprehend what I read as Lizzy does; thus, it would be futile to try. No, I shall just accept that I am not Lizzy’s equal when it comes to intellect. I will only be useful as someone to birth Mr. Darcy’s children, and hopefully that will be enough to satisfy him.”

“Do you not worry that Lizzy will be hurt if you marry him?”

“Lizzy still speaks as though she hates him, so I do not think that will be an issue. If, however, she is not comfortable in his company, I cannot do anything about that. I hope she will come to accept that I had to do what was best for myself and the children.”

Suddenly a maid popped her head into the room. “Excuse me, my lady, but I was asked to tell you that Mr. Darcy has arrived.”

“Thank you, Letty,” Jane answered. “Tell Mr. Darcy that I shall be right down.”

As William awaited Jane in the front parlour, he tried to appear calm despite the fact that during the drive to the townhouse he was unable to shake the memory of how the event that was to occur tonight had occupied his dreams during the past two years. He had often dreamed that Elizabeth had accepted his proposal and he had taken her to the Matlocks’ townhouse in an attempt to convince Lord and Lady Matlock of Elizabeth’s worthiness to become his wife.

Even last night that same dream invaded his sleep, except that when he turned to introduce Elizabeth to the Matlocks, it was Jane standing beside him. In the dream, he had been so befuddled that he was unable to recover enough to speak until Jane stepped forward to present herself. “I am Lady Morgan, Mr. Darcy’s fiancée.”

The shock had awakened him, and, unable to fall back to sleep, he was still awake when morning came. Weary to the bone, he prayed he would be alert enough to keep abreast of most of the conversation tonight in order to protect Jane from any gossip.

Just as he took a deep breath to calm himself, Jane walked into the room. Though she looked as well as any woman great with child could, it was obvious that she was tired and a bit fearful.

Adopting a smile, he said what he knew he must. “You look lovely, Lady Morgan.”

“You are too kind, sir, but thank you.”

“Are you ready to face the dragons?”

The remark made Jane smile. “As ready as I shall ever be.”

“Then we should be on our way. It will not do for the guests of honour to be late.”

The Matlock’s Townhouse