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“Then who was Annette?” I whispered.
“She was my sister, and she died trying to protect me. I could have taken that sacrifice as a gift, lived out the remainder of my human life, and died as I was meant to. But instead, I chose to throw her sacrifice out with the trash, and I searched out this life.”
A tiny, red-tinged tear worked its way from the corner of his eye. My blood had allowed that small expression of emotion. I squeezed his hand as I watched the drop slide down the side of his smooth, pale face.
“I’m sure whatever you did, you had a reason,” I said. “It may seem like a bad choice, and it may have been, but you did the best you could at the time. I don’t think Annette would feel any differently.”
Julian retracted his hand as he pulled up in front of my house.
“That reason was you, Charlotte. I wanted to protect you, and it was the only way I believed I could be strong enough to do so. But I was stupid and rash. I didn’t know how it would change me—change us. Or what additional trouble I’d brought to our doorstep from those I became involved with. I was and continue to be a danger to you no matter how I try to fix that.”
Reaching out a hand, I attempted to wipe some of the pain from his beautiful features.
“I am not afraid of you. Nor do I think you put me in danger. You saved me, Julian. And I saved you too.”
He leaned into my palm, eyes shut. “I won’t let it happen again. Not again. Charlotte, I have always loved you.” His eyes shot open, glowing the deep indigo color that took my breath away.
My mouth opened, and heat filled my chest, my belly, my toes. He meant it. He loved me. This amazing man loved me. But was it me or some other version of me he was trying to make up to? And how did I feel about him?
“But,” he continued, removing my hand from his cheek, “it is because of precisely that, that I can no longer be so involved in your life.”
“You tell me you love me then break up with me?” I said, incredulous.
“If we grow any closer, I won’t be able to resist you. And I cannot allow myself to be that weak again. Go get some sleep. I’ll send Mabel for you in the morning.”
“But—” I couldn’t untangle the mess of anger, sorrow, need, and desire that warred inside of me enough to form the words I searched for.
“Your mother is coming,” Julian said, looking over my shoulder and out the window.
I turned to find Mama rushing across the cobblestones toward us, and I swung open the door.
“This is not over,” I told him, as I let it close. Then I turned in time to accept Mama’s embrace.
The tires screeched against the pavement as Julian drove away.
“Hazel texted Zoe and told her everything. Come on inside. I’m so glad you’re okay. I made spaghetti.”
* * *
By the time my head hit the pillow, I was too tired to think any more about what Julian had shared with me. I’d spent most of dinner wanting to be angry that he hadn’t immediately shared everything about our past lives. But I knew he hadn’t because he didn’t want to sway me. He’d been trying to give me space to wrestle with my current feelings as complicated as they were without the extra baggage or his expectations.
He'd even let me go in the last life because that’s what I’d chosen.
My last thought as I drifted off to sleep at the early hour of eight was whether the ache of him breaking it off before it could get started would ever subside.
At some point in the night, I turned, curling up against Julian’s hard body. I sighed, nuzzling into his side as he wrapped his arms around me. I liked this dream, maybe too much, because I reached up and guided his head down to my hungry mouth where a gentle nip at his full lips turned into the kind of kiss that doesn’t end easily. His hands slid up my sides beneath my tank top and caressed my breasts. I moaned into his mouth, running my tongue along the tips of his fangs. The tiny pricks sent shivers of pleasure through me as he circled his thumbs over my nipples, sweeping his own tongue further inside my mouth, claiming me.
Then he moved away, down my body, lips and teeth teasing my collar bone, breast, stomach, and onward until he slid the shorts off me and buried his head between my thighs.
I curled my fingers in his silky hair and writhed beneath him as he expertly lifted my hips to delve deep with his tongue. He stroked and licked, sucked and nipped, until I was ready to explode. And then he pulled back again.
“Don’t stop,” I said, holding on to his head.
“I have something else planned.” His voice was heavy with lust, and I opened my eyes to find him peering up from between my legs.
“This is my dream and I want to come now,” I said.
“Dream, is it?” he asked, pinching my ass.