Page 13
“Take a breath, Charlotte. Your pulse is far too fast.”
“Where is he?” I demanded louder, grabbing Julian’s shirt collar.
“I followed him when he left the base,” Julian said quietly. “He went to the Vampire Estate. I believe he and Lydia may have already made contact before Carmichael’s murder since they’ve both been staying at the mansion for a while—at least until her arrest.”
Taking Julian’s advice, I gulped at the air, yet somehow, it seemed not to get through to my lungs. My brain buzzed like it was stuck on a static radio station. I was barely aware of Julian sitting beside me and scooping me into his lap.
My father was on the island.
He’d spoken to Lydia. He’d tried to break her out of SHADE. But he hadn’t so much as sent me a postcard in all these years. Not me, or Mama, or Zoe. Flashes of his pale face and blood-soaked clothes reminded me of the last time I’d seen him. The panic and pain in his dark eyes had provided nightmares my entire life and had been the source of my desperation to find a cure for vampirism.
Well, I’d found it. But the two people I offered it to had refused it. Would he? Would he even speak to me?
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Julian whispered, nuzzling my hair.
How did I voice the fear that my father wanted nothing to do with me? He knew where I was—what I was doing with my life. But he still hadn’t reached out.
Did he seem…okay? I asked.
Yes. Julian’s answer was tentative, like he wasn’t sure it was the right one. And I wasn’t sure what I’d wanted to hear.
I’d also acted on the assumption he’d been trying to save us from his blood lust. But suddenly, it felt as though I’d been gaslighting myself. He could have controlled it. Hell, even if he couldn’t or was afraid of that, he could have contacted us or come back when he’d gotten past it.
Huddling in Julian’s calming scent of bergamot and cloves, I nodded against his chest, the back of my neck hot and prickly from the hurt and anger I’d avoided for so long.
I need to see him, Julian.
I spoke through our connection without giving it much thought. Whether Dad wanted to or not, I had to confront him. I deserved to know where he’d been and so did Mama and Zoe.
Then we will make that happen, he promised, kissing my head. But perhaps we should wait to tell your family until we understand the totality of the situation.
As much as I hated to hide something like this from my mother and sister, he was right. If they found out, they’d march right into the Vampire Estate, or portal in if they met resistance. It could result in death—whether vampire or witch I didn’t know. And the man that left us all those years ago…well, he wasn’t worth dying or going to prison for, whatever his motives were.
“First light, we will go pay a visit to the estate,” I said, lifting my face from his shirt. I needed sleep before that and maybe a little time to try and clear the jumble of emotions that tossed my insides until I felt seasick.
“First light,” Julian agreed as I wiped at my cheeks, trying to erase the signs of turmoil I’d just been through.
I cleared my throat. “We get in, find Dad, do what investigating we can on Carmichael’s death, and get the hell out of there. If all goes well, we’ll be back before Em wakes up.”
“Simple enough,” Julian said, standing and setting me on my own two feet.
“Vampires are terrible at sarcasm.” I rolled my eyes. “Thank you for telling me.”
“No more secrets,” he said, voice vibrating in his sexiest tone.
“I’m holding you to that, Lieutenant.”
Chapter Six
Answers and questions
I toyed with the bottom edge of my black blouse as we sped toward the Vampire Estate in Julian’s Vamp Mobile.
On my side, the dense green of the forest blurred in the early morning light, while on his, the ocean whizzed past in a never-ending blue almost as deep as the indigo of his eyes. In the distance, the mystical forcefield shimmered with iridescent sparkles, an ever-present reminder that Monster Island, so dubbed because of its inhabitants, was protected by SHADE. I thought the organization was the lesser evil—someone to hold groups like MorningStar accountable, but now I wasn’t so sure what I’d dragged my family into when I’d accepted the job.
If only my lab hadn’t been attacked. Would I have met Julian? Would we still be here? I slumped in the leather seat and bit the inside of my cheek. No use wasting energy on what-ifs. Better to move forward as best I could in the now. Besides, I couldn’t regret whatever I had with Julian. My gaze slid toward him and, without diverting his attention from the road, he squeezed my hand. I smiled. He knew I didn’t like it when he used his other senses to steer.
“Thank you,” I said.
