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Lydia’s face burned red. “Fuck, Char. Think, would you? Has he done anything untrustworthy?”

I considered, expecting to defend him. But the memory of Julian’s bloody tears over his sister’s body flooded me. I shook myself. Why should I care if he was horrible to the man I hated?

But you do care, Pythia pointed out. I hadn’t heard from her in a long time. Not since Arizona, or—wait, I think I heard her that morning at some point but, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember, so I focused on Lydia’s question instead. What else had Silas done that was shady?

I recalled the file that Daphne had hidden in the basement of the base. Silas had tried to blackmail me. Yet…I trusted him—even liked him. It didn’t make sense. Lydia was right. I grabbed the banister of the porch and sat down on the top step, hugging my knees to my chest.

Lydia sat beside me and rested her head on my shoulder. “The answer to your conundrum is the same as the answer to why I can’t tell you anything.”

Something or someone was preventing her from doing it. Then the same someone or something had jumbled my thoughts into a contradictory mess. But what could do that?

“Who killed Carmichael?” I asked her suddenly then set to chewing my cheek.

“I…I…can’t.” She shook her head, clearly battling with something. “I’m sorry.”

“My head hurts,” I said as the door opened behind me and both Zoe and Em came outside.

“You two are noisy,” Zo said, joining us on the steps as Em climbed on the swing.

“Where’s Mama?” I asked absently.

“Out with Binx.” Zoe shook out her curly head. “What’s going on?”

“Well, Lydia can’t tell us and, for the same reason, my thoughts aren’t making logical sense.” I sighed. “Also, she wants to turn me into a vampire.”

Lydia jumped up and put out her hands in defense. “Not without permission and only to save her ass.”

“It sure would solve your problems,” Em said.

We all looked at her.

“Who are you?” Lydia asked.

“Em. I’m a psychic. I don’t exist, though, so don’t tell anyone.”

Zoe opened her mouth, but Em said, “She won’t, don’t worry.”

“I am not letting you turn another family member into a vampire when the first one won’t walk two miles to see me,” Zoe said, pulling me into her arms. “Don’t try me.”

“Look, it’s frustrating as hell not being able to explain this in simple terms.” Lydia began pacing between the steps, swing, and front door of the house. “But I came here to try because I care about the doc, and I don’t want her to suffer.”

“How will being a vampire save her from suffering?” Zoe asked.

“Aaargh.” Lydia yanked at handfuls of her hair.

“Right, you can’t tell us. Sorry.” Zoe stood and offered me a hand.

“I’ll think about it,” I promised before following Zoe and Em back in the house.

Lydia tried to fall in behind us and met an invisible barrier at the door. “Ow.”

“Sorry,” Zoe said. “After we found out Dad was back, Mama put an invitation only barrier up on the house for all vamps.”

“Invite me in,” Lydia demanded.

“Mm, pass,” Zo said. “No offense, but you want to turn my sister in to a vampire without being able to explain why.” And with that, she shut the door on Lyds.

“That was mean. She’s my friend,” I argued.