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Swallowing hard, I pulled away and stood, turning my back on him. “My magic is dangerous, Torvo.” I felt him come up behind me, but I refused to face him, instead wringing my hands. “You’ve seen how powerful I am. I’m like Illio, the man who the stories say used his abundant power to create a shadow hand, slay the innocent, and try to take the power of the gods for himself.”

“You desire to slay the innocent and take power from the gods?” Torvo challenged.

“No, of course not. But I don’t want to accidentally hurt anyone.”

“You aren’t Illio, Princess,” his baritone voice soothed. His big hands settled on my upper arms as he spun me to face him. “You are kind and careful. It’s your father that has convinced you otherwise. I’ve seen your true heart.”

“How?” I breathed, wanting so badly to believe him.

“Your shadow hand, Rune. She isn’t some kind of monster of myth; she is you if you were free. And she is brave, beautiful, and kind. She fights for what’s right.”

“She doesn’t exist anymore, so stop acting like she does,” I snapped, unable to control my envy. Everyone loved Nyah. Of course they did—she had no pressure on her to be perfect. She wasn’t being drained or abused or⁠—

“She exists because she is you,” Torvo said, grip growing firmer like he wanted to shake me.

“I am me. Either take me as I am or leave.” A single tear squeezed out from the corner of my eye as I stared at him. I was a fool for believing he might actually like me for who I was. He was hoping to get Nyah back. That was all I was good for as far as he was concerned.

“I’m here with you, Rune. Not Nyah. I just want you to accept the part of yourself that scares you most.”

“You prefer her,” I said, backing away until I hit the bed post. He reached for me, but I shrugged away, tears blurring my vision. “I’ll prove it. You can have her, and then you can stop pretending.”

Closing my eyes, I concentrated on bringing Nyah forward again. If she could make Torvo happy, then I wouldn’t stand in her way. Only…only she didn’t appear. Not when I opened my eyes, and not when I focused my power a second time, trying even harder.

“Princess?” Torvo pressed gently, stepping before me. “Are you alright?”

“I…I was trying to bring Nyah back.” I lifted my hands, turning them back and forth as though an explanation might show itself. “I don’t understand why it didn’t work.”

Brow furrowed, Torvo eclipsed my hands in his, stroking his thumbs over the skin of my knuckles and sending a shiver of delight through me.

“Perhaps you didn’t mean it fully?” he asked.

“No. I did. I swear.” My pulse pattered so hard I thought my chest might burst. This wasn’t right. I had to be able to bring her back. I needed her too. If I was being honest, I knew I would at some point. This couldn’t be happening. My magic had always come when I called to it.

“It’s okay, Princess, just breathe.” Torvo bent over me, searching my eyes, his own oceans filled with genuine concern.

Inhaling deeply, I focused on calming myself. He was right. I just had to think about this logically. I bit my bottom lip, searching my memory for when I’d first called Nye into being. I didn’t like remembering, and this time my shiver was far from pleasant. Torvo’s grip on my fingers tightened in response, and I smiled up at him with gratitude.

“It was an accident,” I admitted, face warming. “When I created her, I hadn’t known what I was doing.”

Torvo nodded, swallowing. “You can keep trying. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time. And until then, you can learn to stand up for yourself. Even without Nyah.”

“Stand up?” A nervous laugh escaped my lips. “How?”

“Fight your father.”

“Fight? I don’t want to fight.” I snatched my hands away, trying to look anywhere but at Torvo. He was suddenly too hard to look at. “I never said I did.”

“Even for freedom?” Torvo whispered, leaning in so that I was swathed in his scent.

“I don’t want to hope for the impossible. It hurts too much.”

“But without risk there’s no reward.”

Before I could ask what reward he was talking about, those soft lips met mine, and all thought vanished. His arms supported me firmly but tenderly as he gently pressed forward. It was the most wonderful thing I’d ever felt, and it was a good thing he had ahold of me, or I would have collapsed on suddenly weak knees.

A tiny squeak escaped me, and with it, the kiss ended. He hovered there, agonizingly close, our breath mingling in the air between us. My head spun and I raised my fingers to my mouth where the ghost of his lingered.

“I hope that was okay,” he breathed.