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Her touch had his heart filling with hope that they could turn a corner. That he could have her back in his world. His heart needed healing again. Maybe between Rissa and his family, he could manage it. She deserved the whole truth, a truth he’d never voiced. “Every time we talked or emailed, I wanted it all back. My parents, our home in Burlington, the carefree life of being a teenager, and you. I wanted it all so badly again. Then I had to squash the hope back and deal with reality.”

“I’m sorry.”

He grunted. “Nothing for you to be sorry about. You did nothing wrong. It was all on me. The grief ripped me apart again every time we spoke. I wanted it all back, and I couldn’t do a thing about it. It just became easier to ignore your contacts because then I didn’t have to remember all the good times we had. I don’t have to remember every family event we did together. If I ignored you, I wouldn’t have to deal with the grief consuming me in another fresh wave, and then deal with climbing out of it again. It was easier to pretend the past hadn’t happened and that the present was the only thing I had to deal with. I know that makes me a coward, but it’s the truth. I couldn’t deal with the memories over and over again.”

Rissa tugged him to a stop and stepped into him, wrapping herself around him and squeezing tightly. “I’m so sorry, Burke. You don’t have to explain. I get it.”

He wrapped his arms around her, and something in his chest clicked back into place. He’d had so many regrets over his behavior over the years, and here was Rissa forgiving him so easily.

Even with all their winter clothing, holding her felt so right. He had to battle back tears, unwilling to let his emotions spill out all over her. The grief over losing his parents and then Fox hit him again, but the edges weren’t as sharp this time.

Rissa’s arms held him together, and for long minutes they stayed wrapped around each other, neither saying a word.

Eventually, Frizzle barked several times to get their attention. Burke squeezed Rissa tightly and kissed her head before he could stop himself. With the thick wool hat she wore, he hoped she hadn’t felt it. That was pushing forgiveness a step too far.

Frizzle barked again, and Rissa looked down as she pulled back. “What is it, Frizzle?”

Burke saw the tracks of tears on Rissa’s cheeks. He squatted to pick up the dog, then pulled off one mitten. He brushed his hand over Rissa’s cheeks, wiping away the tears.

Frizzle reached up to lick Burke’s jaw and then neatly leaped from his arms. Rissa caught her easily and hugged her to her face, where the Yorkie licked her cheeks. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard a few times. “Hey girl, are you loving the snow?” Rissa’s voice trembled, and she swallowed again.

She’d cried for him. For his losses and his sorrow. Instead of being angry and refusing to talk to him, Rissa had shed her own tears and forgiven him.

She was a hell of a woman.

Was he lucky enough to earn a second chance? Their one shared kiss as kids had been a fumbling effort, but it had branded his soul.

He wanted to drop his head and capture her lips with his again. He imagined they were both better at it by now.

He shoved down the jealousy at the thought of another man tasting her. Hell, she might even be in a relationship right now. Somehow, he managed to keep the questions inside. None of his business. Not yet, anyway. He would work his ass off so that it could be.

Burke took another deep breath and let the crisp air do its thing. There was nothing like the air in Vermont. No matter the season, it was invigorating. “I think we’re close to the Worminator. Want to check it out?”

Rissa nodded, eyes still misty. “I can’t wait to see it. I think it would be a great basis for a new unit.”

That was good news. He knew nothing about teaching, but creating a unit sounded like a project she wouldn’t finish in a day or two. He’d have more time with her.

Maybe he could convince her to stay.

Which meant he’d convinced himself to stay.

Was that the right thing to do? For either of them?

He hoped so because he wanted it more than he’d wanted anything for a very long time.

Chapter 6

A Lot To Answer For

When they reached the Worminator, Rissa set Frizzle on her feet again. Even a quick nap in someone’s arms was enough to rejuvenate her Yorkie.

Just as a moment in Burke’s arms had started to heal her.

Listening to the genuine grief and regret in his voice had decimated her injured feelings and insecurities.

He’d only been fifteen when his parents died. Along with his grief, he’d taken on many responsibilities and helped the others through their grief—the quintessential big brother.

His reasoning for drifting away from her made sense, and she couldn’t hold on to her hurt in the face of his sorrow and regret. It hadn’t been because of her, not in the way she’d been thinking. Burke hadn’t been able to face the memories of his family being intact. She’d been a vivid reminder of those times.