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The instant she heard his voice, she stopped struggling, but then sobs tore through her body. Scooping her into his arms, he held her as she poured out her grief. Other than her initial breakdown during Jules’s interview, this was the first time she had cried. He had no trouble understanding why. Between the heartbreaking sobs, she kept whispering, “I’m so sorry, Smith. I’m so sorry.”
Unable to do anything other than hold her and whisper soft reassurances, Sean felt his heart break for her all over again. The loss of the young man named Smith had hurt her more than anything else from this experience.
When she quieted, he pulled away slightly to look down at her face. Even with wet, red-rimmed eyes, a trembling mouth, and a runny nose, she was still beautiful. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and gathered her close again.
She snuggled into him and whispered against his shoulder, “He shouldn’t have died. He was protecting me.”
“He is a hero, and I’ll be forever grateful to him,” Sean said.
“I made a promise to him. Told him he’d have the life he’d always dreamed of living. I was going to bring him here to Francine. I knew my parents would love him. Instead, he died in my place.”
“From what I’ve heard about him, he sounds like the kind of man who would willingly give his life to save someone. And in doing that, he saved more than just yours. All the people who were being held inside that house were saved because of his heroism.”
“He was so young…so innocent. And he never had the chance to live…not really.”
All Sean could do was hold her, whispering his love for her, his gratefulness that she had survived.
After several long moments of silence, she said softly, “I wanted to kill him.”
Sean knew she meant Kingsley.
“I’ve never wanted to kill anyone before,” she added. “Not like that.”
Knowing Serena, she was torturing herself with that, too.
“It’s understandable, sweetheart, in the heat of the moment after what the bastard did. That’s a normal reaction for anyone.”
“I’ve taken lives to save someone in harm’s way and to save my own life. But I’ve never literally wanted to kill anyone. Until him.”
“But you stopped. You didn’t kill him.”
“It wasn’t for lack of trying. They got me away from him before I could get it done.”
Knowing his deeply devout wife, she had been torturing herself about that since it happened.
Brushing the hair away from her face, Sean reminded her, “I think there’s something you have forgotten, my darling. You’ve trained with some of the most elite warriors in the world. You have the know-how and the skills to kill in seconds, with your bare hands. If you had intended to kill Kingsley, you could have done so before anyone could touch you.”
She was silent for several long moments. He didn’t know if she was testing his words against her own thoughts or planning to refute them. Instead, she drew in a shaky breath and released a long gasp of air. “You’re right. I had the time and the opportunity. And I didn’t do it. I could have broken his neck. I ended up beating him up and even had my hands around his throat. I could have taken it all the way, but I didn’t.” She pulled away to look up at him, her eyes shining with something brilliant. “Thank you for pointing that out. I felt as if my faith and humanity had been compromised.”
“You are, and always will be, a woman of deep faith and conviction. No one, not even a demon like Kingsley, can change that.”
“I just wish…” She closed her eyes, and he knew she was thinking of Smith.
“I wish it had been a different ending for Smith, too,” he said. “He deserved to have a life of freedom and happiness. But I will always be grateful he was there to save your life.”
She released another shaky breath. “I want to find Kingsley, Sean. If nothing else, he needs to pay for what he did to Smith.”
“We’ll find him, sweetheart. I promise.”
She peeked up at him, and he saw just the slightest light in her eyes that reminded him of the old Serena. “Is that lasagna I smell?”
“It is. Are you hungry?”
A stomach growl was his answer. He laughed and pulled her in for a hard hug. “I’d say that was a yes.”
“Any news from Ash?” Serena asked.
Not wanting to spoil any of Sean’s hard work, she had waited until the end of the meal to ask. He had gone to extremes to make the meal not only delicious, but he’d also set a certain ambience. She didn’t want to ruin that mood, but they hadn’t talked about the case all day, and she wanted to stay as up to date as possible on the investigation.
