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Levi’s playful expression dissolved, replaced by an incredulous expression that Ben always got from city kids when he mentioned what he did on weekends in his small hometown. “Wait, are you serious? Did something hold up the supply guy? I thought he was coming any day now.”

“Supply guy’s fine. But I’m bored.”

“So, an innocent deer has to die for your boredom?”

Ben snorted. Then he coughed, trying to hide how much Levi amused him. He moved toward the front door, only for Levi to step in front of him, still hugging his finished bowl of oatmeal.

“Hey, uh…” Levi hesitated, then shot him an uncertain smile. “If you walk me back to the cabin before you start stripping the dead deer’s skin off, can I come?”

Ben blinked. He hadn’t expected this. Why would he, when Levi had passed out from seeing a bloody nose?

“You want to come with me while I hunt?” Ben said dubiously.

Levi nodded.

“Why?”

“Because you’re not the only one who’s bored!” Levi swayed toward him, bumping their shoulders together. “Come onnn. You can teach me how to handle your gun.”

He barely even made it sound like a come-on. Somehow, this was worse than if Levi had winked. Levi’s voice was soft and conspiratorial, like they were friends with an inside joke. Ben opened his mouth to say no. Then an old instinct rose in him, as it always did when someone asked him for combat advice. Or, in Levi’s case, self-defense advice. Levi should know how to handle a gun. Ben was just being security conscious.

“Okay,” Ben said. “But you have to do what I say out there, alright? I’m serious. No back-talk.”

“No problem,” Levi said. Then he grinned, and Ben had to turn away before he did something he would regret.

CHAPTER 10

Levi came to an unfortunate conclusion as he crouched in the snow: despite his strident hatred of guns and hunting in general, Ben looked super fucking sexy like this.

Ben knelt beside him, utterly still. If not for the clouds of condensation trailing from his mouth in thin, controlled streams, Levi would think he wasn’t breathing. All of Ben’s attention was trained ahead, waiting for a deer to pass through the trees. His hands were steady around his hunting rifle. The base, or whatever it was called, was tucked against Ben’s stubbled cheek. His elbow was pushed up against Levi’s. Levi couldn’t even feel the pressure through their thick coats, but he was deeply aware of it. God, he wanted Ben to look at him like that, with all that intense focus narrowing in on him. Just like last night. Which they clearly weren’t talking about. Ben had looked so relieved when Levi hadn’t brought it up. Levi almost wanted to say something about it now, just to fuck with him. If Ben wanted to be a big, tough man, he should be able to handle an adult fucking conversation. Even if the idea of initiating it made Levi’s stomach clench. What would he even say? Hey man, remember when I sucked your dick? Are we doing that again? Are we pretending it never happened? What the fuck is going on here?

Another minute passed in silence. Ben breathed in and out, and Levi watched the condensation evaporate into the icy air. How long had it been? It felt like ages, but Levi didn’t have his phone to check, and he had never worn a watch.

“Hunting is boring,” Levi whispered.

Ben shushed him.

“Why? There’s nothing around,” Levi continued.

Ben shushed him again. Levi sighed and leaned against a tree to admire Ben’s arms. Once that got boring, Levi motioned at the end of the gun and asked, “What’s that part of the gun called?”

There were several seconds of silence before Ben replied, “The butt. Don’t,” he added when Levi beamed.

“I didn’t say anything,” Levi said. He rubbed his itchy shoulder against the tree, which was useless with how thick his coat was. Would Ben think he was dumb? He knew it was the butt of the gun, now that Ben reminded him. He’d heard people say that before.

Levi looked around the snowy forest. Still empty except for all the trees. Still freezing and quiet and boring. He couldn’t believe people did this for fun. And then they topped it all off with killing an animal and doing stuff to its corpse. Why was he so into this man?

“I used to hate blood,” Ben said suddenly. “I would throw up if anyone got anything worse than a papercut.”

Levi straightened against the tree he was leaning on. It caused his coat to rustle, and he waited for Ben to shush him again. But Ben stayed still and silent, his gaze aimed straight ahead with his rifle. He looked exactly the same as he did a moment ago. But now Levi knew that all that laser focus wasn’t directed at the forest. Warmth spread through his chest. Ben might not want to talk about last night, but he had let Levi come hunting. And now he was opening up to Levi. That was a win in Levi’s book.

“Well, you were in the army,” Levi said. “So, you clearly got over it.”

Ben said nothing. He was so still that Levi thought about prodding him to get a reaction. But curiosity got the better of him. “What stopped it?”

“My dad,” Ben said. “He took me to a slaughterhouse on the edge of town. Pigs. By the end of the day, I was covered in sick. But I was okay after that.”

The tentative smile dropped off Levi’s face as he imagined a child version of Ben walking out of a slaughterhouse, pale and shaking and stinking of his own puke. Levi couldn’t do that at twenty-five, let alone as a kid.