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“What?” he asked.

“I agree with you,” she said. “I mean, I think that we have to be logical about it. I really do. I think that we have to put being good parents before everything else. I don’t need romance. But…”

“What?”

“When I was little, so many of the normal things that other people dreamed about seemed out of reach. So I didn’t even bother. But when we… When we started being successful. When we really started making money, I thought it was going to open the door for me to have all of these things. And then I just didn’t have them. I never found a normal relationship. I ended up sleeping with you. I got pregnant. And now…we’re going to get married and playact happy family and…”

“And?”

“I would like to have a wedding,” she said, her voice quiet but stubborn.

“I can give you a wedding. It can be as extravagant as you like.”

“I can give myself a wedding, Adonis. As a wise woman once said, I don’t need to marry a rich man, I am a rich man.”

“Yes, but I don’t think you should have to throw your own wedding.”

“Maybe Alex should do it.”

He laughed. “All right. I think you’re onto something there. I think it should be Alex’s penance. He suggested this. He should have to give you the wedding of your dreams.”

She looked slightly cheered by that. And he couldn’t say why it made him feel as if he had won some sort of game.

“Yes,” she said. “Agreed. Alex should be on the hook for all of this.”

“You can have whatever your heart desires, and then our child will have photos to look back on.”

“And he’ll think his parents are happy,” she said.

“He will be happy,” he said. “That’s what matters.”

He had never really considered his own happiness. He had considered survival. He had considered reshaping himself into something that caused as little harm as possible. And now, reshaping himself again into a man who devoted everything to the care of his…family.

But he had never considered his own happiness. Never.

Esme clearly had. It mattered to her. He could see that. “Maybe we could be… I mean, we could try,” she said softly.

“No,” he said.

The denial came from somewhere deep inside of him. Something certain. He couldn’t try with her. Because everything with her turned him into an intense, murderous monster. With her, he always wanted to draw blood. And that was no way to live. It was no way to take care of a child.

He might not know everything, but he knew that.

“I know,” she said.

“I’m still the man you’ve always known,” he said.

That was both a promise, and a warning. Because she might not know the extent of all that he was. But she did know that she could trust him to take care of her. What had happened five months ago was the anomaly.

He had to push her away because…

Because it was too much. Because the way that made him feel was somewhere beyond his capacity to manage it, and Esme did not deserve to be exposed to him in that state. Not ever.

“I once stitched you together, Esme Brown. When I say that I will be there for you, I will be.”

“Yes. I know.”

“Will you stop fighting me?”