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I do know.

I’m just not brave enough to admit that I’d uproot my whole life and move to Seattle—a place I’ve never been—all because that’s where Evan is.

CHAPTER 18

Evan

“Just send the text already,” Mikey pushes.

“It’s not that simple,” I argue.

“It’s exactly that simple. You like him, he likes you, you have money, Chicago has an airport. Connect the dots, my guy.”

We’re a drink and a half into a Thursday happy hour that was supposed to be low-key with friends, and somehow the conversation has spiraled into an intervention about my love life—or whatever this is with Marcus, which I still don’t have a great word for.

“I don’t even know if he’d want that,” I protest, turning my beer glass in slow circles on the table. “We’ve never actually hung out outside of sex.”

“Okay, first of all, get it.” Priya points her fork at me for emphasis as she smirks. “Second, you won’t know if he thinks it’s a good idea or not until you ask. That’s kind of how invitations work.”

“Well, what if he says no?”

“Then he says no, and you’ve lost nothing because right now you already don't get to see him whenever you want. Plus, then you’ll know a little more about how he feels about you.”

She’s not wrong, and I hate that she’s not wrong because while I’ve never been afraid of rejection before, I’m afraid Marcus won’t be thrilled I’m basically inviting myself to his apartment. Or that it’ll be a huge overstep on my part.

“Text him, dude,” my other friend and coworker, Kenny, piles on. “If you want to see him, just ask. Or hand me the phone and I’ll do it for you.”

“Fuck,” I mumble, taking out my phone and tapping the home screen.

“Worst case, he ignores you or says no. Best case, you get to see what his apartment looks like and spend extra time with him,” Priya adds, always the voice of reason.

I click on our text thread and stare at it.

“What if it comes across as too much?” I ask. “We’ve never even talked about what this actually is. For all I know, I’m a once-a-year hookup to him and that’s all.”

“So find out,” Mikey says.

I stare at the blank message box for a long moment. Priya, Kenny, and Mikey all watch me before I let out a deep exhale and type.

Me:

Random thought, what would you say if I flew out to Chicago a few days before Christmas? Then we could ride back to Bloomington together. No pressure if that doesn’t work.

I hit send before I can talk myself out of it and immediately set the phone face-down on the table like that’ll somehow slow down how fast my heart is beating.

“There,” Priya says, satisfied, raising her glass. “To bravery, and to hopefully not getting left on read.”

“Cheers to that,” I mutter and down the rest of my drink, needing it to calm my nerves.

The phone buzzes a few minutes later, and I nearly knock over my half-drunk glass of water as I reach for it.

Marcus:

I’d like that.

The words make my whole chest warm, and my cheeks widen, my full face breaking out in a grin.

“Well?” Kenny leans across the table, trying to read my screen upside down. “Seems like good news?”