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Marcus:

Yeah?

Me:

I hate the distance

Marcus:

Me too.

Me:

I miss you

Marcus:

I miss you too

December 31st

Me:

Happy New Year, in advance. Hope tonight’s good to you, whatever you end up doing.

Marcus:

Thanks. You too.

Me:

Any resolutions?

Marcus:

Haven’t really thought about it.

Fuck, it’s painfully obvious something is bothering him. I’ve been able to tell since his “just peachy” message. This feels like it did after Thanksgiving when he went quiet for days. That time, he apologized for going dark and told me why, and it felt like we were stronger because of it.

This doesn’t feel like that. This feels like the same shutdown, except instead of shrinking, it feels like it’s growing.

He said he’d try, and I believe him. Maybe he just needs more time. I’m sure he’ll open up, and right now the best thing I can probably do for him is give him space and continue showing up so he knows I’m not going anywhere.

Me:

Well, if you think of one, I want to hear it.

Marcus:

Okay

Do you?

I stare at the question for a second, surprised he asked. It’s more engagement than I’ve gotten in days.

Me:

Kind of a boring one. I want to actually use all my vacation days this year instead of hoarding them like I always do.