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“Trust me, it is. There are carols and everything.” And spontaneously, for no reason in particular, he turned to Chloe, who was watching them with an expression on her face that was impossible to interpret. “You want to come with us?”

Her eyes widened. She looked hesitant but a moment later, shook her head. “I can’t. I have plans.”

“But—” Ellie started, as if to plead their case.

“Another time.” Chloe was emphatic. Her eyes landed on his with a forceful plea. Let it go. “I’ll be in touch about another visit with Ellie. Between Christmas and the New Year, come down, meet my family, Ellie. They’ll love you.”

Love.

The word lodged in his chest. He stood, keeping an arm wrapped around Ellie’s shoulders, holding her tight to his side. But it wasn’t enough.

He had what he’d come to London for, yet he still felt he was leaving a part of himself behind.

“Come on, little one. Let’s get you home.”

He felt Chloe flinch, and ignored it.

Ellie pulled away from him, moving to Chloe and wrapping her in a huge hug. He saw the tear that sneaked out of Chloe’s eye before she dashed at it and his heart gave a horrible, surging throb.

“Bye, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Promise?”

“One thousand per cent. Go home. Paint your bedroom. Bake cookies. I’ll be in touch.” She kissed her head again and then Ellie stepped out of the apartment.

Dimitrios walked to Chloe slowly, intentionally lagging behind. “Thank you for this.”

“You don’t need to thank me.”

“You were her port in the storm. She needed you.”

Chloe tilted her chin, glanced away.

He didn’t know what to say to get through to her. Everything felt wrong. He reached out, brushed his fingertips lightly over the back of her hand and she flinched. God, even touching her was wrong. He was at a loss.

“Go home, Dimitrios. And just…look after her.”

He closed his eyes, inhaled heavily, and then, he stepped out of her apartment. Dismissed, unwanted, somehow, unforgivably at fault.

CHAPTER 10

“IDON’T KNOW IF I’ve ever told you about my family,” he said, as the car pulled away from the river and pointed towards home.

“I know you have two brothers,” Ellie said thoughtfully.

“Yes. Two brothers, and a mother and father.” He frowned, wondering at how to express this to a thirteen-year-old. “But we were never close. My parents weren’t particularly affectionate—with each other, or us. We were sent to boarding school as young boys. That’s how I met your dad.”

She smiled then. “I know that part. He said you were one of his oldest ‘chums’. I always thought it a funny word.”

“It is.”

She smiled.

“The thing is, your parents did love you. They loved you in a way I didn’t recognize and was totally in awe of. I couldn’t imagine feeling that for someone—ever, because I don’t think anyone has ever felt it for me. I used to watch them dote on you and adore your every single move, your every single breath, like it was the most remarkable thing they’d ever seen, and wonder how that happened. They loved you. And I’ve been so focused on trying to fill their shoes and be what you need that I missed the most important part: I love you, too, Ellie. I’m not ever going to replace your parents but I do love you, and I have been guilty of not saying that often enough.”

“You’ve never said it,” she whispered. “But Chloe says you show it all the time. She says that’s what matters most. That you showed it by stopping your life the second I needed you, and moving to the Cotswolds, and picking me up from school every single Friday, even when you’re busy, and taking me back on Mondays. She says you show it by being available to me all weekends, even if I just want to stay in my room. And then she said you showed it by bullying her into coming to decorate the house with Christmas stuff just because you thought it might make me feel better. And I think she’s right. I think you’ve been there for me, always. Even when mum and dad were still alive, you were always a part of us—they talked about you all the time. They both loved you. And I love you.” She frowned. “I don’t know if I say it enough, either.”

He could only nod. Literally. His throat was closed over with emotion and it made it almost impossible to speak. So he reached down and squeezed her hand, turned his face to look out the window and tried to blot the visceral, aching pain from spreading through his body. A pain that came from absence. Because he did love Ellie, and Ellie loved him, but it was impossible to think either would be facing down this epiphany without Chloe. He’d hired her to decorate his home for Christmas and instead, she’d woven herself into the fabric of their lives. And now, she was gone.