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“You hockey guys are all the same.”

“Us hockey guys.” I run my hand over Parker’s side. “Bed? I’m wiped out.”

“Me too.”

The combined fear of getting caught and losing Parker had dug deep into me. I hadn’t been able to give it my all on the ice these past few days, which had stressed me out. I can still feel the lingering effects in my stomach and in my muscles. The explanation doesn’t make sense to me either, but it’s as if coarse sand in my gears is preventing me from performing at full capacity. It wasn’t until today’s game that I was able to tap into my reserves the way I wanted to. My appointment with my therapist, Silvia, is tomorrow, and I’m not going to cancel it last minute. It’s a mixture of exhaustion and acceptance that lets me relax.

When I lie down next to Parker, I fall asleep immediately, faster than I have since the accident.

A damn buzzing sound wakes me up. I reach for my phone. The screen is dark. I still have it in airplane mode.

It’s already an hour later than I usually get up, but I’m sure I could have slept another hour.

Luckily, practice is later today.

“Hey, Valentina,” Parker whispers from beside me in bed.

I roll over onto my side toward him. He glimpses at me apologetically and shrugs his uninjured shoulder.

“No, it’s okay.” He grimaces. “No, go ahead and talk. I’m awake.” I can’t hear what Valentina is saying, but Parker nods. “Yeah, Evan too. Okay. I’ll put you on speaker.”

“Hi, Evan,” Valentina coos through the phone.

“Why are you already so cheerful?” I ask in a voice that’s way too exhausted.

She laughs. “Sid headed to the gym an hour ago. I’m back from my morning run, and I thought I’d check in.”

Those damn rookies. It’s unbelievable how fast Sid’s recovering. I used to be able to do that, too. Fuck. I’m getting old. “He’d better pace himself,” I mutter under my breath.

“Anyway, Parker, I wanted to warn you.”

At those words, all my alarm bells go off. Completely on edge, I sit up straight.

Parker drapes his leg over mine, either to hold me in place or to calm me down. “What’s going on? You don’t sound particularly upset.”

“No, I just don’t want to stab you in the back. I’ve, after discussing it at length with Sid, decided to cancel my contract with you guys. Not because you haven’t done an excellent job. It has nothing to do with you. I don’t know. Ever since it came out that we’re together . . . ” She doesn’t sound particularly amused; instead, she sounds annoyed and resigned. “Oh well. Nobody’s been talking about my weight anymore. Now I’m the old hag who molests toddlers.”

I hadn’t read it myself, but Parker had told me about it. With my lips pressed together, I keep listening to her. Parker’s expression darkens. “Yeah, I read it. I’m sorry.”

“No, that doesn’t matter at all. Evan is four years older than me; Sid is four years younger. Do you remember anyone ever thinking it was weird when we were supposedly together? No. Exactly. Anyway, it’s not that I think what you’re doing is pointless.”

“Valentina, stop. Wait. I haven’t even told you this yet. I don’t work for Simon anymore. With the accident and everything, I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Besides, I’m not allowed to contact Simon’s clients since he fired me.”

“What?” She sounds genuinely shocked. “I didn’t know that. Even with Ricky and Carly, I only talked about your accident. Sid didn’t mention a thing.”

I try to remember what I said during the team meeting in all that panic. It must have been lost in my shuffle.

“He won’t know. It doesn’t matter, anyway. I couldn’t work right now, anyway. I’m glad you reached out. I did tell Carly she could talk to everyone about it, but Simon’s already got his hands on it.”

“Okay. That sounds better, even though I don’t wish Carly any harm. But lately it’s felt more and more like I’m agreeing with people online and the press that my mistakes or decisions, or whatever makes me who I am, are something I have to hide. Of course, I wish they’d all just shut the hell up and mind their own business. I make movies, for crying out loud, that people apparently adore. And if they don’t, they shouldn’t watch them. I’ve been doing this for ten years, and I’m grateful to my parents for keeping the vultures off my back, especially in the beginning. But I am who I am. If I’m not your cup of tea, you can find another star to idolize. Instead of trying to avoid the gossip, Sid and I want to try a different strategy. It can’t be any more exhausting to ignore the lies and speculations about me than to constantly analyze them and work on ways to refute them or present myself in a certain light. One that’s more pleasing, more media-friendly, and more appealing to the fans. Aren’t I fueling this vicious cycle more and more by doing this?” She takes a deep breath. “This isn’t an attack on you or your work, Parker. You’ve gotten me out of so much trouble over the past few years, and I’ll be forever grateful to you. A year ago, I probably wouldn’t have been able to handle this either. But . . . Until now, I’ve seen this damn eating disorder as such a huge flaw in myself. As if it were my fault. Isn’t this damn industry just as much to blame, pitting women against each other to be even thinner in order to please some shareholders’ interests? Maybe I’ll never shake the sensation that there’s something wrong with me. But right now, it’s so ridiculous how everyone is pouncing on Sid and me, and suddenly no one’s worried about my health anymore. It’s absurd that it’s pulled me out of this vortex of endless self-criticism, and I think this is the first time I’m examining this clusterfuck from the outside.” She exhales heavily. “I don’t want this anymore, Parker. I’m not playing along anymore, and I’m getting out. All notifications turned off, accounts deleted. I’m only keeping the bare minimum for times when I really want to post something. I’m Catholic, but I don’t owe anyone an explanation. Only myself.” She laughs softly. “I guess I had to get that off my chest. Sorry for the rant.”

“It’s okay. Even if we’re not working together anymore, I hope we can stay friends,” Parker says quietly.

“Of course. Now more than ever,” Valentina agrees. She sighs. “Yeah. That means I can go and fire Simon right now.”

“You have my full support.” Parker laughs while I’m still thinking about Valentina’s words.

Is it that simple? Just walk away?