Page 119

“Not for now.”

“Then let’s get started. Let’s see where the question takes us.”

The question leads me to call Grady’s personal number before I head to practice.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is, um, I got your number from Parker. He said I should get in touch with you about new management. Oh, this is Evan. Evan Sinclair.”

A brief pause. “Evan, it’s nice to hear from you. I’m glad.”

“Yeah.” I’ve never changed managers before and I’m not sure what the right approach is. “As I said, I’m thinking about leaving Derek, and I wanted to set up a meeting with you.”

“Okay. I’d love to. We can work that out. When? You’re in the middle of the playoffs.”

“Afterward. Unless something happens before then.”

Grady hesitates noticeably. “Is something expected to happen?”

“Um. No. But I’d prefer to have new management in place before that ‘something’ happens.”

“All right. We’ll discuss the details later. Please make sure Derek doesn’t sign any new contracts until after the playoffs. Tell him you want to realign your strategy and that the two of you should talk it over. There’s no need for him to start negotiating big deals now that might conflict with your future plans if you win the Cup.”

I stare blankly at Central Park. “Ah.” I hadn’t thought of that. “To do that, we have to win the Cup first. I’d suggest you don’t jinx us with your casual assumptions. I don’t want to end up in the same situation as last year.”

Grady’s easygoing laugh is relaxed. Everything about him sounds different from Derek. “Sorry, I forgot. Hockey players and your superstitions.”

“Pfff. Superstition. Didn’t you play football?”

“I did. That’s in the past. So it’s no longer relevant to me.”

Now I’m laughing. Maybe changing management is a good thing in some ways. “Okay. I have to head to the arena soon. Hmm . . . the issue Derek and I can’t agree on might become public. If that happens, I’ll need someone to cover for me. Can I reach out to you before our meeting?”

Grady makes a sound of agreement. “Of course. You’re a friend of Parker’s, aren’t you?”

My nerves are on edge. I am queasy, as I always do when it comes to coming out. I can hear Parker in the bathroom. He’s blow-drying his hair right now. Taking a shower is still a struggle for him with his arm. I shouldn’t start my relationship with my new manager off on the wrong foot with a lie. But what if we can’t come to an agreement? “Parker is part of the issue standing between Derek and me. I’d like to bring Parker to our meeting.”

Grady doesn’t let on whether the news surprise him. He continues speaking in a completely professional manner. “Sure. You can bring whoever you want, and I’m sure we’ll find a solution for everything.”

My breathing slowly calms down. Yes, we’ll find a solution.

Just then, Parker comes out of the bathroom. I turn to face him. His light curls are now hanging low into his eyes. He tucks the strands behind his ear. His sweatpants and my T-shirt, which is a little too big for him but makes it easier for him to get into with the bandage, are sexy on him. Everything about him is sexy.

I think back to my conversation with Silvia.

We always pay a price.

If I don’t come out so I can succeed in a hypermasculine sport with as little hassle as possible, I might get hurt. And I might lose Parker.

If I come out, I might lose hockey. Hockey on the big stage. But no one can stop me from playing in a self-organized league, coaching people who want to work with me.

Parker might leave me tomorrow because he falls in love with someone else.

There’s nothing I can do about it. But it’s up to me to shape the relationship we have right now.

“I’m talking to Grady right now,” I whisper to him.

Surprised, he raises his eyebrows. “Oh. Say hi for me. Or don’t?”