Page 31

“That’s true.” I chuckle.

Aanya turns to Evan, and that damn familiar nervousness creeps through my body like a storm. We’re in public together. How will he react? We hardly ever ran into each other at college. The few times we accidentally showed up at the same place by chance, all ended the same way. At best, he ignored me; at worst, he brushed me off with harsh words.

“Can I help you?” asks the restaurant owner.

My shoulders rise up toward my ears, and I brace myself for the worst. I have to get out of here.

“No, unfortunately I’ve already eaten next door. But I’m glad to have discovered your restaurant now. I’ll definitely be back.”

A punch to the face couldn’t have surprised me more. At the same time, I can’t believe how silly I’m being. Eight years have passed. Evan followed me into the restaurant of his own free will. Any answer other than the one he gave would have been completely ridiculous.

Aanya hands him one of the little cards lying by the register. “Please come back anytime.”

Evan slips it into his back pocket and turns to me. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah. Sure.” My voice just hit a new octave. Together we walk back out onto the street, and Evan follows me toward my apartment. “You really don’t have to walk me home.”

With his hands buried deep in his jacket pockets, he nods. “I know. But if you don’t mind, it would be my pleasure.”

“Okay.” We walk side by side in silence for a few steps. “How was it tonight?”

“Great,” comes the immediate reply. But he adds, “Um, I mean . . . ” After a few moments, he shakes his head. “Forget it.”

His shrug is the only answer I get. If he wants to walk back without saying a word, I guess that’s what we are doing. “What did Valentina mean when she said she’s proud of you?” I bite the inside of my cheek. God, can’t I shut up for a minute? “Sorry. It’s none of my business. Forget I asked,” I repeat similar words he said earlier.

Now Evan chuckles. “It’s okay. And it has to do with what I couldn’t put into words just now, anyway.”

I wait. I don’t want to pressure him.

Finally, he clears his throat. “I told my sister today that I’m gay. That’s what Valentina was referring to.”

I jerk my body toward him so hard that my food bag wobbles wildly. Wow, that wasn’t a cool reaction. I immediately stare straight ahead. My stomach is doing loops. I was prepared for anything. Except this.

“Wow. That’s a huge step.”

“Yeah,” he mutters beside me.

“Wait. Does that mean Valentina knows, too?”

Evan laughs softly. “Yeah. Good guess.”

“Ha ha.” I try to quickly process what Evan is actually saying. “Have you told your teammates?”

“No, no, no,” he interrupts me immediately. “No. With you, that makes five people.” He widens the distance between us, already at least an arm’s length, even further. From the outside, it might not even be clear that we’re walking together.

I run through the list of people in my head. “Five? Valentina, your sister, Derek?”

“Ah.” He seems to be thinking it over. “Derek doesn’t count. He doesn’t believe it anyway. Valentina, my sister, my ex-boyfriend, and my therapist.” He glances at me briefly. “And you.”

After a grueling day at the office and the fact that I still haven’t eaten anything, it’s no wonder my stomach is queasy. But this information is swirling through my insides so intensely that I’m afraid I’m going to faint.

“You have a therapist,” is the first thing I say. “And an ex-boyfriend,” I add dazedly.

Evan nods. “Yeah. For about two years, maybe? I was having panic attacks. One big one. And a few small ones. I was afraid they’d affect my game. That’s why the therapist. Not the ex-boyfriend.”

“Evan, that’s . . . I mean, I’m sorry this is happening to you, but I’m glad you’re getting help. Is that the team doctor?”

“No. Also, nobody knows that. Another secret.”