Page 47

“I cannot—”

“You can. You said it yourself. It gives you strength to be gentle. To wait.” I stared at him. “I want you gentle, Maksim. I want you around. I’m not doing this with a guy who’s going to pass out on my feet. So go. Eat. Don’t be a martyr.”

“You do not mind.”

“Mind what?”

“That I would feed from another person.”

I thought about it. I really thought. About the alley, the crates, the slow terrible sweetness of that kiss on her throat. About a woman with a laugh like cutlery who was apparently his friend and hadn’t once, in nine years, asked him for anything.

“I mind,” I said honestly. “I’m going to be weird about it. It’s going to be a thing. But I’m not going to let you starve because I’m weird.”

He was looking at me as if I’d said it in another language.

“That is—” His voice came out rough. “That is the kindest thing anyone has said to me in some time.”

“Don’t get used to it.”

“I would not dream of it.”

“And don’t make it a big deal. It’s a doctor’s appointment. It’s an IV drip. You go, you eat, you come back.” I poked his chest. “Then you text me like a normal person, with a stupid emoji.”

“I will not use the emoji.”

“You’ll use the emoji.”

“I will use it once, for you, and no more.”

“Deal.”

He nearly smiled. His color was terrible, and his hair was falling over his forehead, and I wanted, badly, to push it back.

I didn’t. I settled for grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him down for a short, hard kiss. He made a startled noise into my mouth, and then his hand came up and cupped the back of my head.

“Go,” I said, when I let go. “Now.”

“Lex—”

“ Go. “

He went. I watched him walk down the corridor at a normal, human pace, hands at his sides, shoulders straight. He looked back once at the end. Then the door swung shut and I was alone with the smell of rubber and the ice machine.

I put my forehead against the wall and breathed.

I was in it. I knew that. Whatever it was, I was in it up to my neck.

He texted at 3:14 a.m.

I was awake. I was always awake now. I lay on my cot in Room 118, listening to Jason’s snoring and to the wind rattling the window, watching the ceiling.

The phone buzzed. I grabbed it so fast I nearly dropped it on my face.

ICE PRINCE: I have eaten.

LEX: Good. Did you kill anyone

ICE PRINCE: I did not. Tamsin says you are “a menace” and she is “in love with you,” and I am to tell you that you owe her a fruit basket. :)