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He nods. “I came into this with my guard up. I couldn’t have my son get attached to you, but really, is that something one person can control? I mean, not when it comes to someone like you. Scout loves you for all the right reasons. You’ve been an amazing addition to his life. And to mine.”

My heart is so full that it aches in my chest.

I don’t know what I’m expecting him to say next, but I’m not expecting him to slide a hand into his pocket and pull out a ring box.

“I bought this…I don’t know, I guess I thought we’d need it as more evidence, to show we’re really engaged, but looking at everything you’ve collected over the past months, I don’t need any more evidence.”

I nod, not ready for him to propose, if that’s what he’s doing. But he doesn’t seem so sure either. “The hearing’s in two days. Probably smart for me to wear a ring. Dot all the I’s and cross all the T's. I want to do everything I can to help you keep custody of Scout.”

“I guess I thought…I hoped…that maybe we were heading to a place where I could give you this for real. Not in a rush because we have a custody hearing. Not just for show. You deserve better. You deserve so much more.”

He looks overwrought. The idea that it hurts him to give me a non-proposal and a temporary ring hurts me just as much. He’s such a stand-up guy, and I can tell that marriage means something to him. It’s like we’re devaluing his whole romantic dogma by doing this for show.

And all I want to do is help him feel okay about me feeling okay, so I dig deep, smile, and shrug like it’s nothing. “You don’t have to worry about that. It’s cool, really. I’ve been engaged before. Twice, actually. So this is no big deal.”

He looks aghast, mouth open, eyes wide. “You have?”

I continue on autopilot, words coming from some unknown place. “Yes, once to someone I met on a trip. He was a prince, a baron, or something. That lasted until his parents found out. And then another time to a guy who I really liked, but he was already married, so I guess our engagement didn’t really count. So I’m good with this. Truly. You don’t have to worry one bit that you’re ruining a beautiful experience for me by making it fake.”

He looks both concerned about my confession and relieved, which convinces me I did the right thing by telling an utter lie.

No, I haven’t been engaged. Probably never will be. Especially when I’m sitting here with a man who wants something for me that I’d never even believe I’m worthy of having.

So when he slips the ring on my finger, I stare at it with the wonder of a little kid. I watch the facets catch the light and sparkle. He could not have picked out a more perfect ring. He could not be a more perfect guy.

I’m falling in love with Luke despite myself. I’m integrated into his family life, and I adore his son.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

I feel that suffocating sensation biting at my heels. When I look down at the ring on my finger, it looks foreign. It feels too tight. I have an almost desperate need to run somewhere, to breathe fresh air. Then it’s all I can think about, that need for air. I feel like a bird who’s been caged up for two months. My wings feel cramped and creaky, but they still work. They can still take me away from here to something new. A challenge. A fresh start.

Someplace where I can run free.

CHAPTER 29

Luke

I look across the courtroom at where Elizabeth sits with her fiancé, who’s wearing a beige three-piece suit for the occasion. All he needs is a fedora to complete the farce of a Southern gentleman, and even though I can’t see them, I’d lay odds he’s wearing suspenders to hold up his pants. “You’re a contractor. You hammer nails for a living,” I want to yell.

As usual, Elizabeth has on one of her long dresses with those ridiculous giant sleeves and about fourteen strands of gold jewelry around her neck. They make a good couple, all dressed up for something other than a custody hearing. It’s like maybe they think John Gatsby’s boat is waiting off the coast, only somehow they don’t realize that the Willow Springs courthouse is nowhere near the beach. I’m not about to be the one to tell them.

For the first time, I don’t care about Elizabeth or her coterie of lawyers who all showed up today in their dark suits, ready for battle. Sitting here with John in his shabby beige corduroy jacket and ill-fitting blue pants, I feel strangely calm. I’ve done everything in my power to make my case to the judge, and I can only hope it’s enough.

Callie sits directly behind me, and even without turning to look at her, I know she’s glaring daggers at Elizabeth, hating what she’s put me through and hating that she could walk away from Scout for even a day, let alone three years.

She taps me on the shoulder, leaving her hand there. I turn to find her, patient and calm blue eyes looking solemnly into mine. “You’ve got this. I believe in you.”

I nod and put my hand on top of hers. I start to thank her, but the words catch in my throat. So I nod again and turn back to face the front.

John shuffles pages in front of him on the desk even though there’s no evidence to present today. We’re just here for the judge’s final verdict, so I wonder if his papers are some sort of security blanket. For all I know, they could be a stack of crossword puzzles or notes on someone else’s case.

The judge enters the courtroom, and we rise, then sit. She rattles off the normal housekeeping items and moves on to our case.

“Upon considering the evidence presented by both sides, I’ve decided on the custody case between Elizabeth Winchester and Luke Reilly. I did not reach my decision lightly, especially given the new evidence introduced regarding Mr. Reilly's relationship, such as it was when I first learned of it, and such as it is now.”

My heart hammers in my chest. I knew this moment would come, but it’s hard to believe that in moments, I’ll hear a definitive verdict that will affect everything I know about my current life. Time slows to a crawl, and I barely hear what the judge is saying. I rehash the past few months in my head, wondering if I’ve done enough to prove what a good parent I am to Scout.

The room around me flashes with bright lights and splotches of black. I hear only phrases and words. “Absent from a child’s life…” “Did the best he could…” “Best possible environment…” “Stability…” “Generous educational opportunities…” “Caregivers…” “Love…”