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Arwan is strong, powerful, and not afraid of anything. He should be guiding this trio with confidence and grace.

Godric… he had set all this up knowing he would send me into a mate bond with Ze’ev.

That’s what he wanted. To experience it, even just secondhand, while understanding that one day he has to let me go.

It’s wrong.

All of it is wrong.

I tell Ze’ev as much as I kiss him, forcing more of my blood into his system. “It’s okay to want this,” I tell him.

I’ve lived all my life wanting something I can’t have.

Now that I have a taste of happiness, I’m not going to let it go. Maybe I won’t survive long enough to enjoy it, but Ze’ev will live on.

He is an immortal.

I’m not.

I’m nothing.

And yet, surrounded by three powerful monsters who have all of their attention on me, I feel like a queen.

“That’s exactly what you are,” Arwan says, standing to kiss my shoulder. “Our queen.”

I must have said that thought out loud.

Maybe their rejected queen, I think bitterly as I bury the truth I’ve only shared with Ze’ev.

The moment Arwan and Godric find out they can’t make a new life swell inside me, they will reject this bond.

And that’s exactly why I won’t tell them about it, not yet, not until I’ve gotten what I needed.

Not until I’ve felt the glimmer of their acceptance that I know won’t last.

Tears roll down my cheeks, and I don’t try to stop them as I press my lips to Ze’ev’s. He absorbs my grief, and I can feel the confusion inside him. He doesn’t know why I both mourn this and celebrate it.

He doesn’t have to know. He only has to help me survive another day.

That’s the sensation I push at him as I claw at his pants until his swollen flesh is in my hands. I stroke him and am rewarded with his groan into my mouth as I kiss him.

I bite his lip, making him flinch. Then his sweet blood is inside my system, making me tingle from within.

“I need you inside me,” I whisper on a loose breath. The warmth inside my core is burning, but I can’t go into heat without more.

Ze’ev obeys by hauling me over him. He notches himself at my entrance while he holds my hips steady.

I sink down on him, and my mouth parts as my body stretches to accommodate his size.

“Arwan, Godric,” I say on a plea, needing them, too.

They stand beside me, and I claw at Godric’s pants, freeing his cock, then I do the same to Arwan.

I take turns tasting them with one in each hand as I curl my hips and drive down onto Ze’ev.

“Fuck,” Arwan breathes.

“That’s it, little moon,” Godric praises as I give in to my instincts. “Your heat will peak soon.”