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I would lose him before I had fully allowed myself to have him.

“I don’t have much experience with this,” I said.

“With kissing?”

My face heated again. “Not exactly.”

His eyebrows lifted.

“I’ve kissed people,” I clarified. “Several. Not an alarming number, but enough to prove basic competency.”

“I wasn’t questioning your qualifications.”

“Good.”

He smiled, and the tension eased enough for me to continue.

“I’ve never had a real relationship,” I said.

Hudson’s amusement faded. “Never?”

“No.”

I picked at a small patch of flour on the counter. “I dated casually in college. There were a few people after that, but nothing lasted long enough to become serious.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t make time.” The answer sounded simple. It wasn’t. “I always had classes, internships, work, projects, deadlines, and something else I believed I needed to finish before I could focus on another person. Dating felt unproductive unless I already knew where it was going, and I never knew where it was going.”

“So you stopped before it could go anywhere.”

“Yes.”

“That sounds familiar.” Hudson rubbed one hand across the back of his neck. “I’ve had one real relationship. It lasted almost two years.”

The knowledge produced an emotion I didn’t enjoy. Not jealousy exactly, but something close to it.

“What happened?” I asked.

“She got tired of coming second.”

“To the pack?”

“To everything.” His honesty held no defensiveness. “We met when I was twenty-three,” he continued. “She belonged to a neighboring pack and understood the responsibilities. At least, I thought she did. For a while, she was patient when I had to change plans at the last minute or someone needed me. Then her patience turned into resentment.”

“Did she ask you to change?”

“Many times.”

“What did you say?”

“That I would.”

“And did you?”

“Not enough,” he admitted.

I imagined Hudson years earlier, still becoming the man everyone called first, believing availability was evidence of worth. I couldn’t blame the woman for wanting more. I also couldn’t blame him for not yet knowing how to give it.