I Accidentally Joined a Wolf Shifter Group Chat
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Patty kept both hands on the steering wheel, her profile illuminated by the green dash lights. We drove for several minutes, the silence stretching until it felt thick enough to suffocate me, before she finally spoke. “I know you’re a human.”
My heart dropped directly into my ass. There was no graceful way to experience that physical sensation, nor was there a manual on how to politely respond to a wolf shifter who’d just stripped away your entire identity.
My hands tightened around the blanket until my knuckles turned white.
Patty glanced toward me, her brow slightly elevated. I stared back, my brain firing off a dozen desperate defense strategies in rapid succession. I could try denial, which seemed like a highly ineffective idea given her confidence. I could feign extreme offense and demand she take me back. I could open the passenger door and simply throw myself out of the car.
What actually came out of my mouth was, “Are you going to eat me?”
Patty blinked, her hands slipping slightly on the wheel. Then she burst into a laugh so loud and sudden that the Mustang drifted slightly toward the shoulder.
“Please watch where you’re going,” I squeaked, grabbing the dashboard.
She corrected the steering wheel while her shoulders continued to shake. “Oh my God, Sloane.”
“I’m completely serious,” I said, a massive lump forming in my throat as I watched the dark trees pass.
That only made her laugh harder. “That actually makes it so much worse.”
“You’re a wolf shifter, Patty, and you just drove me away from a crowd of your supernatural relatives and calmly announced that you know my secret,” I pointed out, my defense mechanisms kicking into overdrive. “Forgive me if I’m checking the safety parameters of this vehicle.”
Patty wiped a tear from the corner of her eye as she tried to catch her breath. “First of all, we don’t eat humans. We have never eaten humans.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to accept that as a verified fact,” I muttered, pressing myself closer to the door.
“We don’t,” she insisted.
“Never?” I pressed. “Not even historically?”
“Unless we’re really, really hungry,” she deadpanned.
My stomach tightened into a hard knot, and I was fairly certain my face went entirely pale.
She glanced over, amusement dancing in her eyes. “I’m kidding, Sloane. Relax.”
“That was a terrible joke to make in this specific scenario,” I scolded, my chest finally expanding enough to let in some air.
“It was a little funny,” she argued.
“It was zero percent funny from the prey position.”
Patty started laughing again, shaking her head. “You asked if I was going to eat you. I can’t get over that.” She took a deep, centering breath, attempting to regain her composure. “Okay, here’s the serious answer. Shifters aren’t interested in consuming human flesh. We eat regular food, just sometimes a little rarer than some humans would like, and honestly, most of us are incredibly committed to complex carbohydrates. Under very extreme circumstances, we’ve been known to defend our territory, but we still aren’t looking to turn people into dinner.”
“That helps slightly,” I admitted, my shoulders dropping a fraction of an inch.
“And second,” Patty added, her tone softening, “I couldn’t eat you even if I wanted to.”
“Why?” I asked, turning in my seat to study her. “Because of some ancient treaty?”
“Because I’m latent.”
I stared at her profile. “That word has come up multiple times tonight, and I still have no idea what the fuck it actually means.”
Patty looked over at me, a mixture of disbelief and pity on her face. “You really don’t know anything about us, do you?”
“I know a great deal about classic cinematic monster lore,” I defended.
“Which means your practical knowledge is essentially sub-zero.”