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“You should have told me that lowlife was hitting on you. I didn’t realize. Well, I noticed a few pathetic attempts at flirting, but Sophie Adam told me everything. He should have been fired a long time ago.”
“I thought I could handle it, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“So, he harassed you for weeks without anyone knowing or doing anything? Why didn’t you report him?”
“To keep my job, Vadim. I could have—should have—done things differently, but it’s not that simple.”
“Why? Explain it to me.”
“Before you arrived, Wilson was pulling the strings. Do you know what it’s like to be a thirty-year-old woman in a large company where all the top positions are held by men over fifty? And that’s with the advantage of being white and usually pretty outspoken.”
Vadim nods. “I’m going to launch an internal audit on gender equity at King France. Equal pay and well-being at work. We’re going to need harassment advisors and better HR training to identify situations where there is potentially a risk and create simpler reporting procedures.”
“Well, look at you, Mr. Director.” I let out a hollow laugh.
He springs to his feet. “If I hadn’t arrived in time, if Wilson had… I would never have forgiven myself. Is that what you want to hear? But, Alma, it’s not my job to look out for you anymore, dammit! It’s no longer my job to protect you!”
“Then why did you do it?”
“You know exactly why!”
“Say it. Why do you keep taking care of me?”
I stand up too and cross my arms over my bathrobe.
“For the same reason that you keep sending me messages and photos from the past! For the same reason that you’re eaten up by jealousy when you see me with someone else! And for the same reason I go crazy when some asshole goes after you!” He paces back and forth in my living room, finally getting it all off his chest.
“Sorry about the photo, I was… feeling nostalgic.”
“Is that it? You want me to believe it’s just nostalgia? You’re lying to me—and worse yet: you’re lying to yourself if you believe a single word of what you’re saying, Alma!”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. Being polite. Diplomatic. Reasonable. The little girl who’s always trying to be perfect isn’t doing you any favors. We’re not kids anymore. Own it, for once. Take responsibility. Stop running away! You’re the one who left me twelve years ago. You’re the one who destroyed me! And now you’re throwing all these memories in my face and pretending you don’t feel anything for me anymore?”
In his furious, gray eyes, there’s an obvious pain that hurts me too.
“I don’t know what you expect from me, Vadim. I’ve said everything I had to say.”
I choose cowardice, unable to tell him the truth. Because he’s right. I’m too afraid of falling madly in love with him again. Afraid of his rejection. Afraid of watching him choose someone else and walk out of my life again. I’m terrified that he’ll come back into my life only to use me to get his revenge, by leaving me like I left him. I can’t lose him a second time.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
No!
“Perfect.”
He shoots me one last defiant look, waits a few seconds to see how I react, then turns to leave. I watch him go, secretly hoping he’ll change his mind.
When he reaches the living room door, he stops, freezes, then turns around. “Oh, fuck it…”
11
Alma
Vadim strides across the room, as if propelled by a force more powerful than reason. Suddenly, he’s facing me, his massive body barely a few millimeters away from mine. He raises his hands to cup my face, but they stop halfway, frozen in mid-air. His eyes rest on my mouth, and his lips part, but he doesn’t kiss me. He fights the urge with all his strength.
