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She cries even harder, and my stomach twists. I don’t understand exactly what’s going on. But it looks like I’m not the only one who doesn’t.

Vadim approaches her slowly.

“What do you mean? Why?” he insists.

“Because I was stupid enough to fall in love with you. Madly in love with you. But you’re going to choose her over me, aren’t you? I never had the slightest chance, did I?”

“Grace…”

Vadim could give her a simple, quick, spontaneous answer. But I know he doesn’t want to hurt her—or make himself too vulnerable. He stands there silently, his gaze shifting from her to me.

Watching him part his lips hesitantly, think, breathe, try to buy time… It’s too much for me. My heart is pounding so hard it hurts. So, without waiting to hear his answer, I rush to the door, slip past Grace, and run through the enormous apartment looking for the way out. I’m gasping for air. I’ve forgotten how to breathe. I need to leave this place, need to escape one way or another. It’s like a survival instinct.

15

Alma

The night was short and restless, blighted by a mix of insomnia and troubled dreams. Vadim hasn’t tried to reach out. I won’t either. I swore to myself.

Lily ended it with Hiro, but she’s still crashing on my sofa bed. Having her around helped me make it through the last eight hours without cracking. I didn’t tell her anything. I just let her take my mind off things, the way she does so well.

Just as I leave for the office, I run into a delivery man half-hidden behind a gigantic bouquet of roses. For me. The small card with the deceptively friendly message is signed by Raphaël. He and I are on neither good nor bad terms. I asked him to stay out of my life for a specific reason, but he doesn’t seem willing to stick to our agreement. I give the flowers to my delighted little sister, throw the card in the trash, and get on with my life, trying to forget everyone who insists on making it more complicated.

I head off to the Champs-Élysées, weaving through the Paris traffic as best I can. I park in the underground garage at King Productions without scratching my door or the car next to me, get in the elevator, greet my coworkers as if last night never happened, and go grab myself a coffee. Then, I sit down at my computer and try to focus on my work. The things I can control. Signing off on budgets, answering all of Kate’s “urgent” emails, organizing a meeting with the communications department, approving—or rejecting—the trailer for the upcoming blockbuster Pretty Little Murders. I only take my eyes off my screen when I notice a shadow appear in my doorway.

Vadim stands in front of me. His gray eyes are troubled, and his features drawn; he looks like he hasn’t slept much. But that’s not my problem. He studies me carefully, as if he’s trying to work out where he stands before coming any closer. I find him drop-dead gorgeous in that perfectly tailored suit, but I remain as silent as he is. I won’t make it easy for him today.

“Why did you leave so quickly last night?”

“Why didn’t you try to stop me?”

“I had things to handle…”

“With Grace.” I hiss her name and hold his gaze.

Vadim leans against my door with a sigh, then runs a hand through his hair, leaving it ruffled. “Grace and I are over. For good.”

“You finally made your choice?”

“Alma, there wasn’t even a choice to make. It was very clear.”

“And you planned to let me know by email? During a meeting perhaps, or when a gap came up in your schedule?”

He manages a faint smile that fades from his anguished face as soon as it appears. Then he tilts his head to the side, and I fall in love with him all over again, just like that. Like when I was eighteen.

“I thought you left because you needed… to breathe. That maybe it was me you were running from.” His gaze finds mine and doesn’t let go. “You slipped through my fingers once already, Alma, remember…”

My heart aches hearing him bring up the past that tore us apart. And my walls come down.

“Vadim, I’m not like that. I don’t know if I’m capable…”

I leave my seat and walk around my desk to join him. But I keep my distance.

“Capable of what?”

“Of sharing you with other women.”

“I only want you.”