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He went still. A low growl rumbled from his chest. Instead of terrifying me, it compelled me all the more.

He reached up to cradle my jaw, then he kissed me back, slowly. Warmth slid through my body. His scent wrapped around me, one with an underlying masculine musk that stirred an ache low in my belly. A strange sensation in my chest tugged me toward him, like some sort of recognition, as if I’d known him for years.

I wanted nothing more than to lose myself in this kiss, in his arms near the fire.

Then thoughts intruded.

Damn reminders of the encounter with the pack. Our history with the wolves. Of Sara Corrin dead at my hands, and her son Gage running the north line in the dark.

I pulled back. His hand stayed on my jaw a moment longer before he let it fall.

“I can’t,” I whispered, tearing my gaze to the floor in the corner.

He straightened in my periphery.

“I killed Sara Corrin, Gage’s mother.” My voice cracked. “He’s out there tonight because of the Order, and I’m the Order. I’m in here with you, and he’s out there.” I threw my hand vaguely toward the door. “There’s too much blood between us, Conan. Your pack won’t forgive this. They shouldn’t.”

“Ruby—”

“Don’t.” I stood and walked over to the window, then pressed my palms to my eyes. “Please don’t make this any harder.”

Staring out the window, I struggled with what I knew and what I wanted. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t want a wolf. I shouldn’t trust my target.

Underneath those shouldn’ts was a name. Sara Corrin.

When I’d carried out my order, she’d been nothing more than a name.

But here, she was a woman mourned. A woman who’d taught pups to swim. A woman with a son who loved her.

My hands trembled. The Order had decided wolves were animals. My grandmother had decided I needed to hate them. Someone had decided which packs got thinned and which families got the land afterward.

Questions had led me to this situation, and now I had more than ever.

It was time to start with the earliest story my grandmother had told me, when I was six:

Your parents were killed by wolves.

That was how she’d started the training, molding me into a knife to wield against them.

But was that true?

She’d lied about other things.

And I had a sense…

The wolves had countless files in the longhouse. Imogene was meticulous about notes.

Tomorrow I’d dig in more.

Tomorrow I’d find answers.

Even if the truth destroyed me.

CONAN

Itried to put the kiss out of my mind the next day, but it tormented me. How could I forget the touch of my mate, the feel of her lips on mine, the scent of her filling my nostrils?

But pressing matters demanded my attention. We had to prepare the pack for the Order. They wouldn’t just come for Ruby; they’d kill any shifter in sight.