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I was left standing in the wreckage.

thirteen

Sexy sleepover

Owain

Itried to keep my spirits up as I swept up the glass, bent over with the dustpan and brush. But the spirits were down. Like, in the basement down. Core of the earth, really. There weren’t enough shovels in the world to—

A pair of dirty beige boots stopped in front of my nose and then Ryan was squatting down on the other side of the mess.

I bit my lip and did my very best to sniffle as quietly as I could.

“Love?” Ryan said softly, and I hummed, trying to keep my voice steady and light so he wouldn’t notice. “Look at me.”

“’M good.” I swept the shards of what was left of my plates into the dustpan. One tiny little fragment at a time. I told myself it was me being meticulous, but I knew I was just trying to buy time.

“Owain, please.” Ryan put his fingers under my chin, lifting until I had no choice but to look him in the eye. His face fell when our eyes met. “Oh, love. I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault,” I said automatically.

“It literally was.” He frowned. “I was a dick and I shouldn’t have done any of that.”

“You were defending me.” Another sniffle forced its way out. Louder this time.

“Not in the way you needed to be defended. I goaded your ghoul squad and made them do something you didn’t approve of from the start.”

“S’okay,” I said softly.

Ryan shook his head. He stood up and pulled me with him, wrapping his hands around my waist and holding me close. “It’s never okay to let someone cross your boundaries like that.”

I looked away because it wasn’t a big deal. They’d had fun. I’d get over it in a bit and it would all be good in a day or two. I was adaptable. I had thick skin. All that good, resilient stuff.

“Okay.” I nodded.

Ryan tilted his head and bit his lip before giving me the tiniest, fondest-looking eye-roll. “Can you do something for me?”

I perked up. I could do favours. I was good at those. “Sure!”

“Tell me I’m an idiot and that I should listen to you next time.”

I balked. “What?”

“Yup. I don’t think you heard any of that super healthy, super assertive stuff I said earlier. Which is crap because I really outdid myself with the taking accountability and apologising and all.”

“I heard it,” I said defensively.

“Yeah, I guess you heard me, but you took none of it in.”

“Wh—”

“Love, I fucked up,” he said, looking me right in the eye. “No matter how you try to spin it and rug sweep it, I did something that made you uncomfortable because I thought it was funny. I need you to really hear what I’m saying. That. Wasn’t. Okay.”

I blinked.

“It wasn’t,” he said slowly.

“No,” I agreed. Sort of. A bit.