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I take a quick shower before donning comfy flannel pajama pants and my favorite Criminal Minds T-shirt emblazoned with the words: Talk To Me, Baby Girl

Ah, much better. I’d sent a text to Holt, letting him know I was in the shower but to head down whenever he’s done for the night. He knows it will be quick. Ever since that awful day two years ago, I don’t enjoy long hot showers like I once did. I can’t relax when I’m staring at the locked bathroom door.

Holt shows up with food that smells like heaven. “Short ribs and polenta,” he announces. “And salads. But who are we kidding? I’m starting with the short ribs.”

Reaching into the bag with the takeout containers and silverware, I spread them on my small table and retrieve two bottles of water from the fridge. I barely get a bite in before Holt asks, “So. Are you unhappy here?”

“No,” I blurt around a mouthful of food. “Honestly? I expected to be miserable. But I feel safe here. Safer than I have anywhere else. And everyone’s been so kind.”

“Good. That’s what I wanted to hear. And this is temporary. Once you’re feeling strong enough, we can find a way to take the next steps to regain your life again.”

My face falls. “Really? Because as excited as I am to put the past behind me, I’m scared as hell to step foot outside the well-guarded doors of this club. Plus, I’ve been getting these odd phone calls from an unknown number.”

He stops eating. His face pales. “What do you mean?”

“Twice now, the phone rang and I thought it was you. When I answered there was no one there. It was registered to an unknown number.”

Holt puts his fork down. “Hand me your phone.”

I hop up from the table to retrieve it. “No one has this number but you and Gianni. I assumed it was probably a wrong number. But there was an odd clicking noise on the line. I think it’s doing a number on my head.”

Holt examines my phone briefly before sliding it into his pocket. “I’ll get you a new phone and drop it by here in the morning. I’m sure you’re right. Probably a wrong number. But they’re cheap enough. Let’s not risk it.”

We eat in silence for a few minutes until my nerves get the best of me. I put my fork down and run my shaky hands up and down my legs.

“You okay?”

I drop my head into my hands.

“It’s okay. I’m sure it’s nothing. We’re just being extra cautious, that’s all. You said you feel safe here, right?”

I thought I was hiding here at this club to be extra cautious. Now this.

I look up, my eyes filled with tears. “I do. I feel safe here. But even going out back to walk, or start Dad’s car and drive it around so I know it’ll still work if I need to make a break for it, causes me to bust out into a sweat. When does that go away, Holt?”

He frowns, looking at me like that question physically hurts. “Try not to think that way. Instead, look how far you’ve come.” He wipes the corner of his mouth with his napkin before reaching for my hand. His gaze is so earnest it makes my chest hurt.

“Marleigh,” he sighs, closing his eyes at the unusual slip of my name. Even when it’s only the two of us, he’s managed to use only Cassidy. Until now. “You’re the strongest woman I know. You’ve already done so much more than any of the doctors predicted. You were on a damn ventilator for fuck’s sake. They weren’t sure you’d even wake up. Then they couldn’t promise you’d be able to speak. Or walk.”

He looks away and closes his eyes. I can only imagine how hard that time must’ve been for him. First seeing me like that. Then having to deal with Dad dying, all while I was unconscious.

“Now look at you. You were nearly beaten to death, and you still came back fighting,” his voice cracks. “You’re already a miracle, Mar.” His eyes glisten with unshed tears.

I stand and throw my arms around him. “You believed in me from day one. I couldn’t let you down.” I sniffle. “You were a huge part of my recovery.”

Holt pulls back. “I’m glad. But don’t discount how tenacious you are. You were already a badass, deciding you were going to be a cop like Dad. You got your bachelor’s degree in criminal justice and now you’re taking those online forensics courses.” He shakes his head with undeniable pride. This man is my rock. He always knows the right thing to say.

“When you’re ready, we’ll tackle the outside world. Sure, it’s going to be tough at first. Especially after those threats of retaliation came to light. But I think you’re more prepared than you think. You simply need to face your fear. Because there are big things waiting for you out there.”

I swallow hard, knowing he’s right.

“But there’s no need to rush it. You just need to take one day at a time.”

“You’re right.” And deep down, I can feel it too. One day I really could have it all. A life I’m proud of. A career that makes me excited to face each new day. Friends. Love. Maybe even someone who looks at me and doesn’t see how broken I am.

Just how far I’ve come.

And for the first time in a long time, that idea doesn’t feel terrifying. It feels possible.