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At her gentle tone, I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Since it was a familiar pain, I had thought it wouldn’t hurt as much as the first time. But it still hurt. I was still crying like a hatchling trying to break its shell. As I gradually fell apart, my fingers clung desperately to her arms. I tugged at her clothes, but she only stroked my hair. She pressed my face completely into her chest, and I felt her body trembling too.

“She’s walking around alive, but Mina’s scent is gone from the air, I can’t breathe in it. I’m so scared. For the first time in my life, I’m so scared, Raymond.”

As I lay in her arms, I tried to perceive her with every one of my senses. My nostrils and lips trembled; my ears opened solely to hear her heartbeat, filtering out everything else. I wanted to feel her.

The more I tried to feel her, the more she became real.

She was real. She was really there, with me.

The intensity of my sobs subsided, turning into silent weeping, but Mina’s hands never left my hair.

“If you still assume you love Mina, do her a favor; stay away from her.”

Her hands paused right at that moment. Even though she resumed immediately, I felt it. And that only amplified the intensity of my pleas. It didn’t matter if she hesitated. It didn’t matter if she no longer loved me or wanted me.

Mina was alive. Even if there was no guarantee I wouldn’t harm her again, there was no longer any chance I’d be driven by an impulse to put her in a pod and make her immortal. My tears weren’t solely for my pain. I was celebrating the beginning of my mortal life—a fact I still couldn’t fully grasp.

Finally… we were equals. Not a theater actress, not a guardian robot.

Only two humans with free minds.

CHAPTER 15

Mina

My Remi was right here. And he couldn’t stand upright under the crushing weight resting on his shoulders.

I had once wished for him not to be able to stand. I had wished for his wings to break. For him to be dependent on me. Unable to live without me.

Yet now, he couldn’t gather his broken pieces on his own. I couldn’t either. No one could gather them for him.

Only time could. Perhaps.

“First of all…” I began, the lump in my throat heavy. I pulled back, then sat in front of him. “I understand why you were affected by this. I understand why you stayed away from me all these years… I really do. But Raymond… this is just a recording. We didn’t go through these things. And we won’t. Please don’t compare yourself to that.”

He offered a faint smile. “These aren’t strangers, Mina. They’re us. Didn’t you feel a connection to them? Because I did. Every sentence he spoke felt as though he were reading my mind. It terrified me. Having a version of myself that does the things I’m too ashamed to say out loud… it still terrifies me.”

“I… did feel close to it, yes,” I replied, careful to keep my tone gentle. He was too fragile right now. Seeing him this completely shattered for the first time made me feel strangely privileged to witness it. “I understand why Mina over there committed suicide. I know her reasons.”

His face, stained with dried tears, snapped up. He looked at me like someone confronting the killer he had been running from for years.

“Do you?”

I gave a faint nod. “When I was sixteen… everything was hard. Looking back, maybe I made it all bigger than it really was. I don’t remember much of what happened anymore… but I remember how it made me feel. I remember what it was like to hit rock bottom. That’s why I understand the other Mina. Maybe she just wanted to prove how much she loved you. She wanted you to know… that she could love you so deeply, she’d give everything for you, too.”

At that, he began to cry even harder.

“I… was there. At least, I thought I was. But I wasn’t, was I?”

“You were. But I told you, that was the problem. You were there for me, but I could never be there for you. So… over time, I didn’t let you be by my side either. I closed myself off. So I feel happy right now. I’m happy that I can help you.”

“You’re satisfied now?”

I bit back a laugh. When I saw him looking at me with wide blue eyes, a chuckle escaped me.

“Of course I’m not satisfied, Raymond. You are the one I love. I love you. How many times do I have to say it?” Watching him melt at my words, my smiled widened. “You’re my only one. My first and last love.”