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“Are you mad, Mina?”

She fixed her bright eyes on me, then darted her gaze side to side, pouting her lips. “Not anymore.”

“Then love me.” I breathed.

It was the most absurd thing I had ever asked for in my entire live. I averted my gaze. A heartbeat later her fingers was on my hair. My lids fluttered heavy under her touch. Unable to help myself, I reached up, caught her wrist, and brought her hand down to my face. I pressed my lips into the center of her palm, burying my face there to inhale her scent. She was right here. Wrapped around my finger, just as I was.

“Remi…” she whispered, but I didn’t want to let her go. I wanted to crawl under her skin. I needed to know what it felt like to be Mina Olind. To feel every fraction of her existence, to possess her body and soul.

I had completely lost my mind, right?

“Remi, let me…”

When she attempted to get away from me, I acted quickly.

I pulled her into a hug.

Mina’s warmth bled into mine, and I forgot how to breathe. I forgot how to exist inside my own skin. I couldn’t even process reality; it was like an out-of-body experience. Only the weight of regret hit me. I longed to go back in time and return every single embrace I’d ever ignored.

“Remi can hug me too?” As her fingers found their way back into my hair, I pressed my nose to her shoulder and breathed her in. My hands visibly shook, and I remembered, scientifically, my heart can actually explode from a lot of adrenaline rush. From excitement.

“What a good boy.”

My eyes snapped open like a flipped switch. I shoved her away, pushing her back onto the grass, but her laughter didn’t even falter.

“Are you mad, Remi?”

She was imitating my tone; toying with me, but I wasn’t in a state to respond. I had to get away from there now. My entire balance was off, all my senses had been turned upside down. I was going insane. Yes, that was the case. There was no other explanation for the fact that my soul—which I thought would continue to starve even if it were given the whole world—reached the point of being satiated, even overflowing.

I lost control for the first time.

And I knew if it happened again, I’d lose control again.

I wanted to.

I ran my fingers through my hair in distress, patiently waiting for my breathing to return to normal. I waited until I no longer felt like I was about to lose my mind.

It wasn’t time yet. I couldn’t go insane now.

I crouched down beside her, almost fearfully, and began to study her face again, which I’d been observing for months. She was sleepy, with her mouth slightly open, looking foolish, but the fire in my chest refused to die down.

“Remi?” She asked, her eyes struggled to stay open. “The meds… make me dizzy.”

“Want to sleep?”

She nodded weakly. When she fell asleep in the garden, I usually called one of the nannies. I was only now realizing how wasteful that was. Without second thought, I bent down and scooped her into my arms.

“Remi is carrying me?” she yawned, her arms enveloped my neck. “I knew you were a prince…”

Her eyes finally closed. I held her tightly against my chest, feeling her warmth more. On the way to her room, I absorbed every detail of her with all my senses.

Humans can’t survive without being addicted to something. Except me.

But in that moment, as I laid Mina gently onto her bed, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I simply couldn’t. I was being controlled by something, addicted to something. It wasn’t the power all politicians wanted, nor was it something as small as a cup of coffee.

A human.

If I was going to be controlled by something, to have an addiction like every other human being, I wanted it to be her.