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I realized I was holding my breath and sucked in some oxygen as subtly as I could. My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears. It all sounded fantastical, yet it also sounded wonderful. Then I reminded myself that I’d let myself get swept away by the fairytale of love once before and lost myself in the process.

“What happens if your mate isn’t a match?” I asked. “Like if it’s one-sided and they don’t think you’re their mate back.”

He was shaking his head before I even finished. “That’s impossible,” he said. “A person might think you’re not mates, they might not want to accept it yet, but usually they come around, even if they’re not a shifter.”

“And if they don’t? What happens if the mate rejects you? You move onto the next one? Like does fate send you a replacement mate?”

I couldn’t believe I was talking about fate like it was real. Like it was a being of some sort who arranged matches. I was a middle-aged mother. An accountant. I wasn’t someone who believed in fantasies.

He shook his head. “There’s only one. Well, sometimes one person in a fated mate pair dies and the other finds a new fated mate, but that’s extremely rare.”

“Does everyone find their mate then?” I asked.

“No, in fact a lot of people never do. Their paths just don’t cross somehow.”

“That’s sad.”

He nodded. “Yeah. A lot of shifters give up. They meet someone who is compatible and they settle down, like a human marriage, and maybe they have a long and happy relationship. But sometimes their fated mate comes along later, and then there are issues.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like my cousin Ben.”

He nodded towards the bar where another giant man was standing with Marie, both of them watching us like we were their afternoon entertainment.

“His father married his mother for companionship, but when Ben was a young cub Uncle Murph met his fated mate,” he explained. “I don’t know the whole story, but his parents split up and his mother told him that his father had abandoned him. But Murph left him the bar in his will and when Ben came to check it out, he discovered that his father had left him documentation of how he’d tried to be there for him but was shut out by his mother. She’s apparently still bitter to this day about the split, even though Murph’s been dead for a few years now.”

“Wow. She should have been glad he told her the truth instead of just cheating on her.”

“I don’t think she saw that as a silver lining,” he said. “Poor Ben was really broken up when he realized what his mother had done.”

We were both quiet for a few minutes as I processed the story. Then I leaned forward and waited for Ollie to meet my eyes.

“Look Ollie, I’ve actually enjoyed hanging out with you.”

I winced as I realized that I sounded surprised, like I’d assumed he was bad company or something.

“What I mean is, it was more fun than I would have expected, and I could totally see us being friends. But I’m not in the market for a relationship right now, especially not a serious one, and I don’t want to lead you on.”

“I understand.”

He looked sad and it made my heart pinch. The truth was I regretted my words almost as much as I suspected he did. Ollie was fun and intelligent and considerate, perfect boyfriend material. But I didn’t want a boyfriend. I didn’t want a mate or another husband. I didn’t want any man or any distractions.

Maybe it was selfish, but I just wanted to spend the rest of my life doing whatever I wanted. I wanted to be free. No matter how comfortable it might be, a relationship with Ollie would still be a cage, and I was done being caged.

I slid out of the booth, reaching for my wallet, but Ollie shook his head.

“I’ll get the check.”

I debated arguing with him but decided against it.

“Well thanks for lunch.”

“Hold up,” he said. “Where did you park?”

“Down the street.”

“Let me walk you to your car.”