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I nodded. “Yeah, the take-charge type.”

“Let me guess, you’re one of those?” he said, leaning forward and grinning at me.

“It would seem that I am. If it was up to Mason, I would be taking over that role very soon.”

“For the whole pack?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Is that something that you want?” he asked.

I took a deep breath, thinking it over. “I don’t know that I have a choice. It’s just something that I am.”

“There’s always a choice, Jack. Would you rather just continue on being retired, not having that kind of stress on your shoulders? That’s a perfectly acceptable thing to do.”

“I know, but would I be happy doing that? Sure, being the alpha will probably be a lot like being a foreman. It was stressful, and people called me all the time with things, but I helped. People looked to me for guidance and really listen to me.” I winced. “That sounds egotistical.”

“It doesn’t.” Though we had pulled away from each other to avoid doing something embarrassing, Connor put his hand over mine again. “You’re a natural leader, Jack, and also, it makes sense that you would find joy in that.”

“Yeah.”

“So, what would that mean for the future? Would you move closer to the pack property or into the pack house?”

“I don’t know. I honestly can’t think past the next full moon.”

“Really? You’re such a planner, I’m surprised you don’t have a notebook full of to-do items and questions to ask and ideas for pack events or things like that. They seem to have all really taken a liking to you, and you to them.”

I did have a list on my kitchen table with ideas. I’d nearly filled a notebook with my thoughts, to the point where I’d started color coding and categorizing. How was it that he knew me so well? “I… I just… It’s all new. And the shifting has really thrown me off.” That wasn’t a total lie. I was thrown off by the shifting, and the constant hormones that made me feel like a teenager. But really, it was Connor that had me so off kilter.

It was like having a box of happiness within my grasp, with promises and hopes for the future, guaranteeing I’d be happy, cared for, and no longer alone. But if I held too tight or if I wasn’t fast enough, it would slip from my grasp forever.

“Of course it has. I can imagine it would be incredibly jarring.”

I switched the topic. We’d talked about me enough, so I asked him about his work. He allowed the conversation to shift, likely sensing that was what I needed. He complained about corporate and how over it he was.

“I’ve been thinking about taking a sabbatical,” he said. “I have enough time off. If I take three months, I could travel to all the places I’ve wanted to go. I might come back with a fresh perspective, or I won’t come back at all. Either one.” He grinned around the taco he took a bite of. This was a pork taco he had piled high with sour cream, pico de gallo, and cilantro.

“You want to travel?” I asked, my stomach feeling heavy like the fish taco I had been enjoying turned into a rock. “Where to?”

“Europe, maybe Egypt? Any place overseas would be fun. I really wouldn’t mind seeing the pyramids in real life. If I was going real crazy, I’d go to Australia, but too many things can kill me there. There are so many different places I haven’t gone. I’ve only been overseas one time, and I was in college at the time, so I couldn’t afford to do everything I had wanted.”

He had plans. Or at least dreams of plans. Things that he could do. But not if he was tied down to a wolf pack. I didn’t completely understand pack dynamics, but I definitely got the homebody vibe from them. They kept to their territory, and if I ended up as alpha, I would be keeping to the territory also. Traveling wasn’t in my future.

“I haven’t traveled much. I’ve always been a homebody,” I said.

“Me too, but maybe it’s time I changed that, right? You’ve kind of inspired me to find the thing that makes me happy.”

“I did?” That most certainly hadn’t been my intention. I mean, I wanted him to find what made him happy, but I’d been hoping it was me.

Connor nodded. “Yeah. You seem so much happier now that you’ve found your path. You had a big thing happen to you, and a weaker person would have crawled into a hole and hid themselves from the world, but you’re embracing it. Look how well you’ve fit in with your pack in just a few short days! Imagine what it will be like a month from now. You’ll be running the place!”

He said it so casually, a joke thrown out there as a piece of conversation. He didn’t know how right he was.

Or how wrong he was.

I could take over the pack, help them to grow and mature, and do all the things I used to do for my crew at work. Except I needed a mate at my side. I needed him at my side.

Connor put a hand over his stomach. “Oof, if I’m going to eat any of that dessert, I need to stop. How about you? Do you have room for more?”