Page 16

The timer went off in the kitchen.

Jasper jumped, startled out of… something. He gave a small smile as Konrad let go of his hand to go see to dinner. Once Konrad was gone, Jasper realized his heart was racing.

Nerves, surely. Nothing else.

Konrad called out that dinner was served, and Jasper was desperately thankful to put a table between them, at least until he calmed down.

There was a candle lit on the dining table when he sat down. He thought back to their conversation about Konrad being a romantic, and—

No. That train of thought was not conducive to Jasper’s sanity.

Konrad served them and then sat at the head of the table, the place closest to Jasper. “Amatriciana,” Konrad said with a nod to the pasta on Jasper’s plate, covered with some kind of tomato-based meat sauce. “I would usually prepare it with bucatini pasta but that is a pasta I lack the talent for making by hand.”

“I’m sure our inferior pasta tastes just as good,” Jasper said with a chuckle.

One bite confirmed that it was extremely good. God, the man could cook.

They ate and talked and it was effortless. Jasper was starting to wish it wasn’t. Once clearly drawn lines were starting to blur, and Jasper no longer knew on which side of them he stood. It was hard to apply such restrictive labels as romantic or platonic to their relationship. Jasper didn’t think everything needed a label, but he kind of wished they did fit under one so it would be easier to make sense of whatever this thing was they were doing.

After dinner, Konrad offered his hand to Jasper. “Would you like to watch a movie?”

Jasper laughed—something he found himself doing strangely often in Konrad’s presence. Sometimes it felt like Konrad had no idea how to just be a normal person, so he mimicked Jasper, though Jasper supposed he was guilty of the same. He mirrored people to blend in. Being himself meant allowing himself to be seen. But he was himself around Konrad, and maybe that was what made it terrifying to take his hand, to let himself be led to the “entertainment room.” Because having a TV in the living room was for peasants.

“Is that a projector?” Jasper asked incredulously.

“Of course. It is the superior way to enjoy a film.”

“You are so pretentious.”

Konrad smiled as he selected a movie, and Jasper curled up on the massive couch that took up almost an entire wall of the small room. He was surprised this house even had small rooms. Konrad killed the lights and sat right next to him despite there being plenty of space, the projector clicking behind them as the movie started—the original black and white Casablanca.

A few minutes in, Jasper shifted to get more comfortable, and Konrad raised his arm. Jasper stared at him. “Oh, I wasn’t…”

“Ah. Apologies.”

Konrad put his arm back down and Jasper fidgeted. He hadn’t been trying to move closer, but Konrad had thought he was, and had made space for Jasper against his side without comment or judgment. Jasper wished he had sleeves to mess with or chipping polish to pick at. But his shirt was sleeveless and his polish was still intact, so he had nowhere to put the restlessness that kept pulling his eyes from the screen to Konrad.

He picked up his wine from the table in front of them and downed it. Then he picked up Konrad’s glass and downed that, too.

Jasper had a needle shoved through his cock when he got his Prince Albert piercing, but he hadn’t had to work up half as much courage for that as he did now to tug on Konrad’s sleeve.

Konrad looked over at him and Jasper looked anywhere else.

“You can… pick it back up,” Jasper muttered.

He didn’t want to see whatever expression Konrad had at the moment, so he stared down at his own lap, until he saw Konrad raise his arm from the corner of his eye. Jasper curled into his side and that arm wrapped around his shoulders. He drew a ragged breath; he could get used to this. Being touched. Konrad’s thumb made circles on his bare shoulder and Jasper closed his eyes.

He didn’t realize he was twisting and untwisting his hands in his lap until Konrad took one of them. Jasper opened his eyes to see Konrad’s free hand wrapped around his, halting the anxious fidgeting. His brow furrowed as he watched his fingers slide between Konrad’s; Jasper was the one doing it, but the sight of his black nails against the back of Konrad’s hand felt like they belonged to someone else. Surely they couldn’t belong to the man who shied from connection as thoroughly as Jasper did.

Jasper didn’t fall asleep this time. He stayed awake, holding Konrad’s hand and lying on his shoulder. One of his feet ended up between Konrad’s at some point, his calf resting over Konrad’s shin. Jasper’s nerves returned when the credits rolled. He didn’t know how to extract himself from their current position without being awkward.

Was he supposed to say something? Was Konrad going to say anything? He really hoped not.

“Jasper.”

Konrad let go of his hand and Jasper looked up, startled by how close their faces were. He tried to look back down, but two fingers caught under his chin to keep him where he was. He swallowed, and he knew Konrad could feel it, saw his eyes flick downward toward the motion. Or maybe he was just already looking at Jasper’s mouth.

“Stop me anytime, Jasper,” he whispered, leaning down.