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He tried and failed not to be pleased when Konrad returned halfway through the day, carrying various small bags, seemingly all from different sellers. Besides tattoo artists, there was also a whole side of the convention center dedicated to vendors and artists selling their work in the form of prints, jewelry, clothes, and whatever else.

“Are you busy at present?” Konrad asked, pausing politely outside Jasper’s booth, its walls temporary rather than the black-painted brick that enclosed him at the shop.

Jasper waved him in. “No, there’s a big panel being held right now so it’s slowed down. Enjoy your adventure?”

“Very much. I even found something I thought you would like.”

Jasper made a pained sound as Konrad looked through the bags. He hated gifts. He was so awkward about receiving them and felt terrible if he didn’t have anything to give back. But Konrad looked incredibly pleased with himself, and Jasper couldn’t just shoot him down. After a brief search, Konrad produced a metallic silver bag with black tissue paper sticking out.

“You want me to open this now?” Jasper asked uncomfortably.

“You don’t have to.”

But Konrad wanted him to. He was smiling, looking down at the parcel Jasper held, waiting patiently.

Jasper dug into the bag and found something soft. He pulled it out, and a black scarf unrolled, embroidered with a dark blue wave pattern. More like a water pattern, really. The shapes looked too tranquil to be waves. Jasper brought it to his face, feeling its indescribable softness.

Then he remembered he wasn’t alone. He put the scarf down and cleared his throat, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt, and mumbled a quiet, “Thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome. I don’t wish to hover while you work, so I believe I’ll explore some of the local sights until the award ceremony. Would you like me to fetch you some lunch first?”

“No, that’s okay.” Jasper tucked the scarf carefully back into the bag and put it under his small desk, a folding thing on loan from the convention center. “See you later.”

He watched Konrad go, deeply afflicted with the urge to wrap the scarf around his neck.

Jasper went back to their room when it was time to get changed for the award ceremony. There would be daily awards for things like Best Color Tattoo and Best Anime Tattoo but the ceremony on the first night was for things like Best Upcoming Artist and the like. He had the room to himself, and he didn’t know if he was glad or not. His stomach was in a thousand knots. If he won, he’d be brought up on stage and expected to give a small acceptance speech. He had written one, at Hiyori’s insistence that it was better to be on the safe side, even if he didn’t think he was going to win.

The only thing that rivaled his hatred for crowds was his fear of public speaking.

He never knew what to do with his hands or his face, and sometimes his words got stuck, and he would go completely nonverbal. Thankfully he could count on one hand the times he’d had to speak publicly but that small number was still too many.

Jasper’s hands trembled as he buttoned his jacket. He wore a tailored but simple black suit, a silver collar chain, and black leather gloves. His hair was as combed back as it could get—not very—and he’d gone around his eyes with a black eyeliner pencil, creating rough, imperfect lines that he only made worse by trying to smooth them with his finger. Good enough.

His palms were sweating when he returned to the convention center and found the stage where the ceremony would be held. He went backstage, checking his inner pocket for his speech for the millionth time. The other nominees were all to one side, chatting and drinking. Jasper shrank away before he could get dragged into joining them. His heart wouldn’t stop racing, and he could feel panic constricting ever tighter in his chest, making each of those rapid beats a struggle.

Out on stage, the ceremony was underway. Hiyori won Shop Owner of the Year.

Jasper smiled at her through the panic as she waved at him.

She went on stage and gave a beautiful speech about the shop, what it meant to her, and how much she owed to the artists she worked with.

Jasper ran shaking hands through his hair, inevitably messing up whatever taming he’d managed back at the hotel. He could never give a speech like that. He squeezed his eyes shut, his hands clenching tighter in his curls. There were hundreds of people out there. An entire crowd to hear if Jasper’s accent slipped out or if he stuttered for the first time since he was thirteen. An entire crowd to laugh if he froze up again.

“Jasper, what’s the matter?”

His eyes shot open and found Konrad standing before him. Jasper just shook his head; he couldn’t talk. He hadn’t even made it to the stage and he already couldn’t speak.

Konrad cupped his face. Jasper grabbed his forearms, prepared to push him off.

“Breathe with me.”

Instead of pushing him away, Jasper found himself clinging to Konrad’s sleeves. He forced himself to suck in a breath when Konrad did, and shakily exhaled with him, grimacing when he heard another award being announced. It was almost time.

“We can leave right now,” Konrad offered. “You can apologize later for not coming out to accept your award.”

Jasper laughed through an unsteady breath. His throat still felt too tight to speak, but he found it funny and perhaps endearing that Konrad was so certain he was going to win.

“Or you can go out there. And even if you don’t spare them a single word, the crowd will be utterly charmed by you.”