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Robin didn’t move. She didn’t crack a joke. Sienna realised with delight that she hadn’t expected Sienna to actually touch her and was maybe even a bit unnerved by the contact.

Sienna straightened the clip, enjoying the called bluff. ‘There,’ Sienna murmured. ‘All set.’

‘Thanks, Vance,’ Robin said quietly. ‘You’re a lifesaver.’

‘Ladies! Stage door! Ten seconds!’ the stage manager yelled, waving them forward.

Robin looked back at Sienna over her shoulder, her playful, competitive spark flaring right back up. ‘Ready to rock?’

Sienna took a deep, steadying breath to ground herself. ‘I’m ready to beat you,’ she muttered, and out they went.

Six

Robin stepped out under the purple stage lights, waving and flashing her dimpled smile to a hall of wildly enthusiastic audience members as she sat down, one of whom was holding an LED sign that read MARRY ME ROBIN. Robin felt like Taylor Swift, minus the private jet and the ability to hit a note accurately.

Beside her, Sienna Vance walked toward her side of the minimalist stage setup with her usual poise. Her dark navy suit caught the stage lights perfectly, and despite the absolute wall of sound hitting them, she simply sat down, unbuttoning her jacket like she didn’t even notice the throng.

God, she’s so bloody pompous.

‘Welcome, Audio Fest!’ Robin called into her mic, her voice booming through the stadium speakers. The crowd went wild. ‘I’m Robin Croft, host of Meet-Cute, and I am here today to remind all of you that love is messy, unpredictable, terrifying, and worth every single second.’

A loud wave of approval swept through the crowd.

Sienna waited exactly three seconds for the applause to die down before leaning into her microphone. Her voice was smooth, cool, and clear.

‘Good afternoon,’ Sienna said, her tone carrying the weight of someone who could decide if you got a tax audit. ‘I’m Sienna Vance, host of Dating by Design. And I’m here to ensure you don’t make life-altering decisions based on elevated hormone levels and romantic propaganda.’

The room burst into laughter.

The moderator, Lauren Gable—a respected queer culture journalist seated at the centre desk—raised her hands to quiet the roaring audience before leaning into her broadcast mic.

‘Welcome, everyone, to what is easily the most anticipated panel of the weekend,’ Lauren began. ‘We have two hosts who couldn’t be further apart on how we navigate modern intimacy. On my left, Robin Croft advocates for passionate risks and radical vulnerability. On my right, Sienna Vance champions boundaries and intentional choice.’

Lauren looked between the two hosts, the space between their chairs practically crackling with static.

‘Today, we’re pitting those two philosophies against each other, with an open floor where you can bring your real-life problems straight to the stage and get an answer from both,’ Lauren continued, leaning forward. ‘Let’s hear a little about their opposing philosophies first. Robin, on Meet-Cute, your show champions the ‘spark.’ That instant, cosmic connection that demands you take a leap of faith. Sienna, on Dating by Design, your latest episode called that same spark a ‘neurological trap.’ Robin, would you like to start?’

Robin leaned forward and directed her smile straight at her nemesis. ‘The spark isn’t a trap, Sienna. It’s intuition. It’s your body telling you that this person, right in front of you, has the potential to shake up your entire world. To ignore that because someone doesn’t match your checklist is to miss out on the greatest stories of your life.’ She looked back at the audience, holding her hands out. ‘Who here met their girlfriend because of a completely chaotic, unplanned moment?’

A massive chunk of the crowd cheered loudly.

‘And do you regret it?’

A mass booing issued forth.

Robin flashed Sienna a triumphant wink.

Sienna sighed, almost bored. ‘In a recent study of five hundred sapphic couples,’ she began smoothly, ‘eighty-four percent of relationships initiated purely by the so-called ‘spark’ dissolved within eighteen months due to mismatched core values. The spark Robin is describing is novelty masquerading as fate.’ Sienna turned her head, locking her sharp, dark eyes onto Robin. ‘To put it in terms you might understand,’ Sienna added, her voice dropping into sheer mockery, ‘you wouldn’t fly an aeroplane based on how pretty the sky looks. You check the fuel gauges.’

There were a few dramatic gasps from the crowd, followed by a chorus of ‘oohs’ echoing through the hall.

‘An aeroplane, Sienna?’ Robin chuckled, leaning in Sienna’s direction. ‘Is that what you think romance is? A commercial flight?’

‘It’s as good an analogy as any other,’ Sienna replied.

‘But where’s the joy in a flight where nobody’s allowed to look out the window because they’re too busy reading the safety manual?’

Sienna paused for a moment, and Robin thought she actually might have her stumped.