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Chapter Sixteen

Baxter

My instinctive reaction was to turn and walk away. Maybe even run. I might have signed up to see my grave, but that was the extent of my bravery. Confronting a ghost from my past hadn’t factored into the plan. Although the thinking on that was probably all wrong when I was the ghost.

The problem was that Jamie was already turning. Maybe he’d heard Lake and me talking. Maybe it was a sixth sense of being watched. Either way, short of diving behind the nearest gravestone and making myself impossibly small, there was no escape.

So I stayed where I was and braced myself. A ridiculous thought flickered through my mind: that perhaps he wouldn’t recognize me, that his gaze might skim straight over me, searching for someone else. I dismissed it immediately. He was standing at my grave. Presumably thinking of me. Which was… really sweet, considering I’d been dead for close to two decades.

His eyes landed on me.

He blinked. Started to turn away. Then did a double-take, his gaze snapping back.

“Baxter?” There was a world of incomprehension and disbelief in the way he said my name.

In many ways, he looked the same. But the longer I looked, the more differences I spotted. Broader shoulders. Shorter hair than he’d worn in his twenties. Fine lines around his eyes and his mouth that hadn’t been there when we’d dated. And then there was the wedding ring, my gaze snagging on it. Man or woman, I wanted to ask, but it wasn’t the time.

Lake stood rigid in my peripheral vision, the tension in his shoulders broadcasting that he was no more comfortable than I was.

“Yeah,” I managed, my voice hoarse. There wasn’t much else I could say.

Jamie shook his head. He tried to take a step. Toward me. Away from me. I couldn’t tell. He staggered and went down hard, landing arse-first on the grass. Lake rushed forward, crossing the divide and helping Jamie to his feet, guiding him over to a nearby bench.

I hung back as the two men conversed, unsure what I was supposed to do. Eventually, inevitability won out, and I forced myself forward, delaying the moment with slow, reluctant steps.

Jamie sat hunched, head bowed, and breathing ragged.

“Shock,” Lake murmured quietly to me. “Hardly surprising.”

“No,” I agreed.

Jamie’s head snapped up at the sound of my voice. He stared at me as if he didn’t know which way was up anymore. There was more gray in his hair than I’d expected—more than Lake had. I forced a smile. It felt strange on my face, but it was better than staring at him. “Hi.”

He shook his head. “You look… the same. Like it was… yesterday.” His breath hitched. “And I’m so old.”

“You look great,” I said, and meant it.

“How?” The word came out raw.

I turned toward the grave I’d come to see, studying the gold lettering on the smooth black stone for a moment. “They remembered my middle name,” I said with a slight smile.

“They weren’t going to,” Jamie said quickly. “I told them you’d want it. I fought for it. For you.”

The gravestone itself wasn’t that impressive, certainly not compared to others we’d passed, but at least I had one. “Thank you,” I said. “I appreciate it.”

My gaze dropped to the grass covering the spot where my body was supposed to lie. What would happen if someone dug it up? Could a person exist in two places at once? Was I both standing here and decomposing beneath the soil? It was a discomfiting thought.

“How?” Jamie asked again.

Lake came to the rescue. “Why don’t we find somewhere more comfortable to talk?” He glanced up at the sky, the clouds having grown even darker. “I’m keen to get out of here.”

We’d barely been in the cafe five minutes before the heavens opened and the rain came down. Lake had made me wait outside while he checked how strong the coffee smell was, a kindness that was beyond sweet.

The place wasn’t fancy, but it was clean and quiet. And with the rain lashing down outside, any shelter felt like a blessing.

Now that Jamie had gotten over his initial shock, he couldn’t stop staring at me. He’d realize what he was doing and apologize and look away, his cheeks reddening, only to glance back moments later.

“I don’t understand,” he said finally.