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I bowed forward, braced my hands on my thighs, and breathed.

Ren . . .

I needed to see him.

Maybe I could drop by Team GB, check in with them, see how things were going, all casual like? No, he’d hate that. I’d see him later. It was fine. He didn’t need me showing up in the middle of his team meeting like some needy boyfriend.

I checked the time on my phone.

The rink . . . I had time to get on the ice, and once I did, I’d start to remember why I belonged there and forget the past that had been dredged up to weigh me down.

I grabbed the shuttle bus, went back to my place, grabbed my skates, and headed to the rink. Miles would be alright with it; he’d know I’d need it. The team would too. I needed this . . .

I laced my skates at the side of the rink and stepped onto the ice. A few laps to warm up, and it wasn’t long before my body forgot the panic and fear. This was where I belonged. It didn’t matter what anyone said. The ice was my home. It was where I shone. Where I was free.

Everyone around me fell away into a blur. I built speed, going hard, flying across the ice, heart racing for a different reason now. This . . . I loved this . . . this feeling.

Blots of red appeared outside the rink, and I slowed.

The team were there.

They’d gathered at the boards, cheering.

They’d known it was over and knew I was back.

I braked hard, sending up chips of ice, and bowed to their applause. Casey hopped onto the ice in his skates and threw his arms around me. “You crazy son of a bitch!”

Zoe was skating too. She dove in for a side-hug, almost taking the three of us down.

It felt as though I’d already won the Olympics. I’d survived, and the team were here, and damn . . . it could only get better from here.

“I knew it was bullshit, man,” Casey said, dragging me off my skates into a full-body hug. “No way you deserved that.” Casey shoved me off, laughing.

“You okay?” Zoe asked, steadying me after Casey’s joy-filled assault.

Neither of them had seen me since my breakdown outside the café last night, and I almost did the same again now, but with a face full of grin. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

“We’re bringing home gold tomorrow, baby!” Casey said, skating a tight celebratory loop.

“Well, yeah, but there’s Hasegawa and Ward to beat, so . . .”

Casey stopped and frowned. “You haven’t heard?”

“Haven’t heard what?” I glanced at Zoe. Her smile quickly vanished.

“He quit,” Casey said. “We got a free run! You and Zoe are in the lead.”

“What?” I skated to the boards by the rinkside gate. “Zoe . . . ?”

“It’s true,” she said, following. “I mean, that’s the rumor.”

“No.” The word fell out of me. “That . . . No.”

It couldn’t be true. Why would Ren quit . . .

Me.

My heart dropped through the rink’s solid ice floor.