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“Sorry? What are you saying?”
“I have to leave.”
He grabbed my hands. “Perky, no. Don’t do this. Whatever happens, we can get through it. I prom—”
“I can’t.” Shaking my head with tears streaming down my cheeks, I repeated, “I can’t. I’m so sorry.”
“Can’t what?”
“I can’t be with you.”
Something I never expected from him happened as he continued to stare at me. His eyes began to glisten. Being the man that he was, he fought back the tears as he stared at me incredulously.
Unable to stand seeing him so hurt, I forged a lie. “I was going to tell you that I decided to go ahead with the insemination anyway. So, I suppose this timing is just as well.”
His eyes were red. “That’s bullshit.”
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me,” he spewed.
I needed to rip the Band-Aid off. My eyes were still filled with tears as I suddenly got up and walked over to my suitcase.
“I have to leave.”
He followed closely behind me. “Kendall, don’t do this.”
“I have no choice.”
“What if this is a lie, or if it’s not…what if the baby isn’t mine? We don’t know anything yet,” he pleaded.
“What if it is?” I screamed.
“Then, it won’t matter. I belong to you. This doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything, Carter! Everything. I’ve never felt more pain in my life than I do in this moment. I can’t handle it. If you ever really loved me, please just let me go.” My tears were now blinding me when I whispered one last time, “Let me go.”
My words seemed to have gotten through to him. He stood there frozen as he watched me walk away. I focused on the rolling sound of my suitcase, fighting the urge to turn back around to look at him one last time.
I didn’t.
I needed to get out of the International Airlines gate as fast as possible.
Fifteen minutes later, I found myself at the Lufthansa Airlines ticket desk.
“When is your next flight to Munich?”
After searching the computer, the attendant said, “We have one that leaves in an hour with a stopover in New York.”
I closed my eyes to shun off the immense sadness creeping in as I realized what I was about to do. Everything was flashing before my eyes: Rio, Dubai, Amsterdam, Boca. The love that grew more and more with each step of our journey. I still loved him, and I knew I always would, but I couldn’t risk losing everything. More so, I couldn’t handle the pain. Carter fathering another woman’s baby was just too hard to accept. I loved him too much and couldn’t witness him living out a part of our dream with someone else. I had been looking for signs to help me make a decision. I would say landing that seat next to Cass was just about the biggest sign I could’ve gotten.
Before I had a chance to change my mind, I let out a long breath and finally answered the attendant. “I’ll take it.”
“LAST WEEK, WE EXPLORED your past, what happened with Lucy. We didn’t have enough time to revisit the situation you alluded to, that brought you here to seek help. So, I think we should delve into that today, if that’s okay with you. I’d like you to tell me about her,” Dr. Lemmon said.
“Alright.”
“Take your time.”
