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“Being your mother is the most important job I will ever have. I will always be here, rooting for your happiness, even when you make decisions that leave a lot to be desired. But we’ve all made mistakes, Talia. Some of them bigger than others. There’s truly no such thing as a bad mistake if you learn from it and grow as a human.”

I thanked her again, and shortly after we hung up, there was a knock at the door. A few seconds later, Rafe let himself in. I’d been standing at the stove, trying to decide what random items I could throw in a pot for dinner.

His expression was softer than the last time I’d seen him. “How are you?” he asked.

“Hanging in there.” I shrugged.

He slipped his hands into his pockets, and a chain on his jeans pocket clinked. “I’m sorry about last night. I went a little off the deep end.”

“Totally understandable.”

Rafe walked over and pressed his forehead against mine. “I freaked out because I don’t wanna lose you, Talia. Too much is changing too fast.”

“I know.”

He wrapped his arms around me. “You’re like the only person who grounds me.” After a while, he pulled back and linked his fingers with mine. “I realized last night that you’re the first woman I’ve ever met who sees me for me. Even when I changed the way I was dressed and tried to tone things down for the sake of seeming more stable… You didn’t want that. You want me just the way I am. That’s something I’m not used to.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Who’s made you feel like you’re not perfect the way you are?”

Rafe sighed. “Where do I even begin? All my life people have been pressuring me to change. My stepfather insisted my art was a joke. I meet women who are only interested in a good time at first, but then do a one-eighty and expect me to change who I am, get a more stable career in order to be what they deem a suitable partner. Even Calder has put pressure on me to come up with a Plan B, almost like he’s expecting me to fail. He doesn’t understand that you have to go full steam ahead if you want to make something of yourself in the art world.” Rafe squeezed my hands and looked into my eyes. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is…I’m grateful that you’re different. From the beginning, you’ve had a true appreciation for my art, because you’re also a creative person. You get it. You get me.”

“I’m happy you see that.” I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him close. “I just wish things were simpler for all of us. I wish there were a way you and I could be happy without hurting Calder.”

Rafe’s body went rigid. “I’ve tried to put Calder out of my mind. It’s a coping mechanism. It’s hard for me to face what I’ve done. I don’t have regrets about being with you, yet I doubt I’ll ever forgive myself for betraying him. I’m probably gonna have to work on that for the rest of my life.” He exhaled. “Being away will give me some time to reflect on it, figure out how to handle things with him moving forward. I think this Vegas trip is gonna tell us a lot, to be honest.”

That’s what I fear. I managed to keep my face neutral.

“But just because I’m leaving New York, that doesn’t mean that my heart is going with me,” he continued. “I do think my being away is either going to tear us apart or make us stronger, though. There’s no in-between.”

I nodded. Both Calder and Rafe deserved better than to be anyone’s in-between. There were so many variables. Las Vegas. London. Calder finding out I’d been with Rafe again. Not to mention… How could Rafe trust someone who would cheat on his best friend? Once a cheater, always a cheater, right? Or worse, if Rafe could do that to Calder, couldn’t he cheat on me? What did they say? How you find them is how you lose them. The chances that everything would work out somehow felt bleaker by the minute.

Then I remembered what my mother had said. She was right. I needed to learn how to be at peace with being alone, because there was a very good chance that’s where I’d end up.

CHAPTER 32

“I made us a reservation at Benedetto’s at seven.”

My pulse picked up. “How can we go out to eat?”

Rafe’s brows pulled together. “What do you mean? We’ve eaten together in public.”

“At the pizza place after going to the supermarket, and at the bagel shop down the block. But Benedetto’s is a restaurant.”

He shrugged. “So?”

“It’s going to look like we’re on a date.”

“We are going on a date. It’s our last night together. I want it to be special.”

Until now, Rafe and I had spent most of the last two weeks playing house cooped up in his apartment. We’d been out and about together during the day and casually. But we hadn’t gone to a romantic Italian bistro that would probably be lit by candlelight.

“It can be special here,” I said.

Rafe frowned. “I’m tired of feeling like a dirty little secret, Talia.”

“You’re not.” Though…wasn’t he?

He folded his arms. “So what’s the problem?”