Page 98

Rafe rubbed his jaw. “I want to stay, Talia. But I’m gonna be honest here and admit that I don’t feel like I can trust myself. I’m too fucked up in the head, and to be blunt, I want you so fucking badly. I don’t think you want me here all horny and emotional.” He grimaced. “I’d tear you apart if you let me touch you.”

His words ignited my body. “Sadly, that’s exactly what I want.”

And with that admission, I surrendered to my true desires. I’d been at war between what my heart wanted and what I believed was morally responsible, which was to make things right with Calder. But at this moment, all I wanted was the man in front of me.

Rafe stood his ground, though. He shook his head and turned back toward the door. I guess we knew which one of us was weaker… The one who really couldn’t be trusted.

When the door closed behind him, I felt totally dejected and stupid. I’d just returned to the couch when there was another knock at the door. Puzzled, I got up again and went to open it.

I’d barely caught sight of Rafe before he pulled me into him, our lips crashing together. I let out a desperate breath into his mouth as our tongues collided.

“Fuck, Talia,” he murmured over my lips. “I’m so fucking weak.”

“Don’t leave me,” I whispered.

He pressed his chest against mine as I walked backward to the bedroom, never coming up for air, drowning in his taste.

Rafe and I collapsed onto the bed, the heat of his erection practically singeing my skin. We tore each other’s clothes off.

When he entered me, he let out a groan so loud it echoed through the room. Just one more time, I told myself. Closing my eyes, I let myself fall into an oblivion of bliss, knowing that tomorrow it would all come crashing down again.

CHAPTER 28

In our bed.

Mine and Calder’s.

I stood at the coffee pot, waiting for it to finish brewing while staring off into space. I hadn’t even made it twenty-four hours after Calder left before falling into bed with Rafe again. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, the bed I’d fallen into was ours. Or technically Calder’s, since he’d been the one to bring the mattress. And here I’d thought it wasn’t possible to sink lower than I already had.

Crippling guilt aside, a small smile somehow found its way to my face. Last night had been amazing. Never in my life had I experienced that kind of intimacy. I’d felt stripped bare, and while it was terrifying to be that vulnerable, it also let me feel everything fully—the love, the ache, the unbearable beauty of being seen. With nothing left to hide behind, every moment had felt infinite.

But of course, the high of what I’d experienced, the relief I’d felt being in Rafe’s arms again, was now marred by guilt. The morning light had shined itself directly on the ugliness I’d hidden in the dark.

The coffeemaker sputtered its last few drops into the pot, and I reached for a mug on autopilot. Realizing it was the one Calder usually drank out of when he was home, I put it back and chose a different one. Behind me, the bedroom door creaked open. My body went still as I braced for what was about to come—the shame that would undoubtedly settle between us now that we’d gotten our fill. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Rafe had just walked straight to the door.

So I waited, holding my breath, not turning to see how wrecked he probably looked.

Instead, an arm slid around my waist, and he pressed a warm kiss to the side of my neck. “Morning, beautiful,” he murmured. His voice was gravelly in a way that made my stomach flip. “I was disappointed that you weren’t next to me when I opened my eyes.”

He sounded…happy. Not tortured or regretful, not a man who wanted to run for the door, hoping to avoid my eyes.

“Coffee?” I asked, afraid to say more.

Rafe’s chin settled on my shoulder. It felt so…normal. So coupley. Like waking up in my bed and strolling out to have morning coffee together was something we did every day.

“Mmm…” He kissed my shoulder again. “In a minute.”

I very slowly turned around. He smiled, and the sight was nothing short of glorious. Sleep had made his curls wilder than usual, and there was a warmth in his eyes. He leaned in and brushed his lips over mine. “Much better.” He pulled back, and his smile faded a little. “What?”

I swallowed.

He brushed a thumb along my jaw. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Look at me like I’m the biggest mistake you’ve ever made.”

I shook my head. “Rafe…no, I’m not—”