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“I know.”

“He can’t promise me next season.” Ford stared at the carpet between his shoes. “He thinks I’ve got a good chance, but that’s all it is.”

Cole moved from his stall to the bench across from him, close enough that Ford could have reached him without standing. He left the choice with Ford. “What happens if you wait?”

“I miss the playoffs, and Halsey finishes the season whether I schedule it or not.” Ford shifted in the stall, the words scraping away what remained of the fantasy he’d been protecting. “If I wait, rehab starts later, and there’s a chance I’m not ready when next season starts.”

Cole held Ford’s gaze with no satisfaction in being right. His shoulders drew in before he said, “I’m sorry.”

The apology brought Ford’s head up. Cole looked like he believed he owed Ford something, and Ford couldn’t stand it.

“Don’t apologize.” The words came out harder than Ford intended. He lowered his voice. “You didn’t do this.”

Cole’s shoulders remained tight, and Ford knew saying it once wouldn’t undo the last week. He drew in a breath. “There’s something else. Halsey knows about us.”

Cole’s attention sharpened. “Did he say something to you?”

“After you left.” Ford glanced toward the hallway again before he could stop himself. “He said some of the guys have probably figured it out.”

Cole absorbed that without looking toward the door. Ford couldn’t stop checking it.

“Are you okay?” Cole asked, watching him rather than the open doorway.

“I don’t know.” Ford pressed his palms together between his knees, then forced them apart. His skin felt damp where they had met. “Nothing happened.”

“What did you think would happen?” Cole’s voice held no challenge. That made the question harder to answer.

“I don’t know.” The answer scraped on the way out. Ford stood because sitting beneath Cole’s attention had become unbearable. “That’s the problem. I expected the room to change. Guys watching what they said around me. Questions about whether I could keep hockey separate. Charlotte hearing about us from somebody before I was ready.”

Cole’s mouth moved, almost a smile. It disappeared before Ford could be sure.

“He said the way we act when somebody comes near is what gave us away.” Ford crossed to the center of the room and stopped. The stalls surrounded him, each one close enough that somebody could appear before he heard them coming. “I let go of you like touching you is something I’ve done wrong.”

Cole stood on the other side of the narrow aisle. “You were scared. But it’s not like we’d be the first gay guys in this room. Leo’s out, and nobody treats him differently. Maybe it’s time we tell them.”

“Leo isn’t dating a teammate.” Ford’s answer came too fast, sharpened by every consequence he’d imagined. “He doesn’t have to wonder what happens in the locker room if things go bad between them. And him being with Dawson wouldn’t lead to anyone giving him shit every time he heads to the showers. Are you ready for that?”

“Yeah, I am.” Cole moved closer without touching him. “Being teammates makes it more complicated. It doesn’t make us wrong, and it doesn’t change what happened. Halsey figured it out. Nothing blew up.”

Ford rubbed at the pressure beneath his breastbone. “That’s what I can’t get past. None of that happened. He was worried about me, then he wanted to go back to watching tape.”

“Maybe that’s all it has to be. We have to trust everyone’s going to have our backs. As for the showers, I don’t think you’re giving the guys enough credit. They all understand that there are lines you don’t cross.”

Ford wanted to believe him. The want frightened him almost as much as Halsey’s discovery had. He made himself take the last step, and Cole’s chest rose sharply when Ford stopped in front of him.

“Okay, maybe you’re right.” Ford’s mouth had gone dry, but he resisted the urge to turn away again. “I don’t know how to do this.”

Cole waited, giving him no easy answer to grab instead. “Do what?”

“Ask you to build a life with me when I have no clue what the future holds.” Ford forced the rest out before fear cut him off. “Chicago could call tomorrow. I could have surgery and never play another game. You could end up anywhere, and hockey has been my whole life for so long that I don’t know who I am if it gets taken away.”

Cole’s face tightened. He stepped into Ford’s line of sight and stayed there until Ford looked at him. “You think I fell in love with your job?”

“No, but⁠—”

“I love the goalie.” Cole’s voice roughened, and he moved close enough that Ford could feel the heat of him without being touched. “I’m not going to pretend losing that wouldn’t change you or that it wouldn’t hurt. But I love Charlotte’s dad too. I love the man who opened his house to me when I needed somewhere to go and never asked for anything back. I love the pain in the ass who stays late to help Halsey and then acts surprised when the kid trusts him.” Cole’s eyes had gone wet, but he didn’t look away. “Hockey is part of you. It isn’t all of you, and it isn’t the only part I love.”

Ford’s throat tightened until swallowing hurt.