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As they were leaving, Sylvia paused at the door. "Thank you," she said simply. "For listening. For caring."
"For changing things," Maya added softly, and I hugged them both.
After they left and Phoenix and Em went upstairs—Draven had offered to make sure Maya and Sylvia returned to their cottages safely, and okay, even I almost rolled my eyes at that—Bayer pulled me against him, his arms encircling me protectively. "You continue to surprise me," he murmured against my hair.
"Good surprises, I hope," I said, melting into his embrace.
"The best kind." He hesitated, then asked, "Did they tell you...everything? About what the winter festival became under my father?"
I nodded against his chest. "Enough to understand why you never mentioned it." I pulled back to look at his face.
Bayer's jaw tightened. "I was ashamed,” he said honestly. “Ashamed of being a bear.”
I wrapped my arms around him as much as I could. “Well, that stops now.” And it did. I had three bear cubs I wanted to be proud of their heritage. Plus, a certain bear I adored with everything in me.
Chapter twenty-nine
Bayer
I wanted to do something special for Danny; I just didn’t know what. I thought about taking him somewhere nice for supper, but his eating and sickness were still hit and miss. We had three days until we went to visit his mom, but I wanted something special, and I was out of ideas. I wandered the packhouse as if it would give me ideas and ended up in the study. I was surprised to see Ben there, hunched over a book that looked like it weighed more than he did. The kid had been quieter than usual lately, and I wondered if the stress of everything was getting to him too.
"Heavy reading?" I asked, settling into the chair across from him.He looked up, his eyes reflecting the lamplight. "Just researching some stuff for Mom…Isla," he qualified, but I knew. He closed the book—something about silver-skin genealogy, I noticed. "She's been helping me understand more about what I am."
I nodded, though something in his tone caught my attention. "How's that going?"
Ben shrugged, the gesture trying for casual but missing by miles. "It's...complicated. Turns out being half silver-skin and half shifter isn't exactly common. Most of the time it's a human parent, who dies during pregnancy because of the blood demands of the fetus, or the baby doesn't survive."
The clinical way he stated it made my chest tighten. "But you're here."
"Yeah, but I didn't have a human parent," he said with a bitter laugh that sounded far too old for his nineteen years. "Mom says I'm special. But sometimes I think I'm just a mistake."
I leaned forward, recognizing the self-doubt in his voice—it echoed too closely to thoughts I'd had about myself. "You don't really believe that."
"Don't I?" Ben's eyes flashed, and for a moment I caught a glimpse of the hurt he kept so carefully hidden. "I can't shift like other kids. I don’t have talents like Rhys, even though we shared the same sire." He trailed off, jaw clenching. "And Estrelle wants nothing to do with me."
"Your biological father was an asshole who hurt people," I said bluntly. "That has nothing to do with who you are."
Ben stared at me for a long moment. "Is that what you tell yourself about your father?"
The question hit like a physical blow. I sat back, feeling exposed under his too-perceptive gaze. "I used to think that, but Danny is working on me."
"I knew him,” Ben said, and I knew he had. “I saw what he did."
“It takes a lot of unlearning,” I said.
Ben nodded like he agreed. "Mom says trauma doesn't define us, but it sure feels like it sometimes. Like I'm always going to be the weird half-breed who doesn't fit anywhere."
"You fit here," I said firmly. "With this pack, this family. Danny adores you, and Phoenix would go to war for you, to say nothing of Rhys, Isla, and Matthew." I hesitated. “And me. I’m officially your uncle, but I’d settle for being friends.”
"I know," Ben said, his voice softening slightly. "And I'm grateful. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I could actually do something.”
“Have you asked Esther?” I asked very gently, because while Esther might’ve been wise in all things, her twin Estrelle was really Ben’s mom and got pregnant when Alessandro raped her. It had been Estrelle’s curse that had been the reason no shifter babies had been born for many years.
"I’ve barely seen her.” Which translated to Ben avoiding her because of Estrelle. I understood. The connection between Ben and Esther was complicated by his mother's history, by the pain that had shaped both their lives in different ways.
"Esther doesn't avoid you," I said carefully. "I think she's giving you space to figure things out on your own terms."
Ben's laugh was hollow. "Maybe. Or maybe she looks at me and sees what Alessandro did to her sister."