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My heart ached for Ben. He'd lost everything. "That still doesn't explain why you think the vamps wouldn't want—"

"Because Estrelle was their downfall, I guess. They all blame her for the curse and ultimately for Alessandro's death, which translates to me."

"Because you're a convenient scapegoat."

"Dimitri might tolerate me because I'm Rhys's brother, but having me in the room would just be a reminder of what they consider their loss."

My heart ached for him. "That's bullshit."

"Maybe." Ben shrugged again. "Doesn't make it less true. Rhys is Alessandro's heir, next in line for some fancy vampire throne even if he doesn't want it. I'm just...the mistake."

"Hey," I said sharply, nudging his shoulder. "Don't talk about yourself like that."

"Why not? It's what they think." Ben picked up a stone and tossed it across the yard. "I'm older than Rhys, but it doesn't matter. I'll never be what he is."

I recognized the pain in his voice—the feeling of being different, of not belonging. Of being less than.

"You know what I think?" I said, surprising myself with the sudden clarity of my thoughts. "I think people make their own choices and being defined by birth is utter crap."

Ben glanced at me, eyebrow raised.

"Look at me," I continued. "A week ago, I was human. Now I'm some kind of omega hybrid thing, mated to a bear shifter, probably pregnant with a cub, and I just told the only man that’s ever loved me that I'd be better off if he disappeared."

Ben's eyes widened. "You didn't."

"I did," I admitted, the shame of it washing over me again. "Because I'm an idiot who pushes people away when I'm scared."

"Are you really pregnant?" Ben asked, momentarily distracted from his own problems.

I sighed. "According to Bayer and Phoenix's super-hearing, yes. There's a heartbeat."

"Wow." Ben seemed genuinely impressed. "That's...wow."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Wow is one word for it. Terrifying is another."

We sat in silence for a moment, two misfits on the porch steps.

"You know," I said eventually, "being different doesn't make you less. It makes you...adaptable. You can walk in both worlds in a way Rhys never will."

Ben considered this. "I guess. But it doesn't change how they see me."

"Did Rhys or Phoenix—"

“Fuck no,” Ben said, then looked around in a panic in case someone heard him swearing, and I grinned, feeling ridiculously lighter. “They would never. Rhys wanted me there.”

“Wanna come help me get dinner ready for after they’ve done?” It was the least I could do.

He glanced at me. “Whatcha making?”

“Spag bol,” I said and stood up ignoring Ben's blank look. It was my favorite pasta. “Spaghetti Bolognese, Garlic bread.” I waggled my eyebrows. “I could make a chocolate bomb for dessert too.”

He followed me inside.

Chapter twenty-one

Bayer

“Bayer?” I knew Phoenix and Kaylan had followed me, but I shook my head. I could barely speak, and not to answer Phoenix. “Let’s just deal with the silver-skins.”