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Amazing, really, that one simple church ceremony could change the rules and expectations of a lifetime.

Since she had not sent a man to ride across country at speed with her letter for her sister and mother, as it seemed that Darcy had done with his to his sister, she thought it very likely that they would beat the letter back.

And my, how shocked they would be.

She wasn't concerned about winning round her mother. After all, the words ‘ten thousand a year’ only needed to be mentioned and she would surely be on board.

And then she would make sure she secured a decent home for her mother and her sisters before it was time for her to depart.

Darcy had offered to help, and as much as she thought it was kind, she also wondered if he wanted to ensure that his soon-to-be mother-in-law did not end up residing with them.

And for that, she could not blame him.

She loved her mother dearly, but she did not think she could live with her forever.

Jane perhaps, Mary even, but not Mama or Kitty or Lydia.

She didn't think her patience could stand it.

It took her a long time to get to sleep. She tossed and turned, occasionally dozing, but being woken by dreams where she was living a life she did not recognise.

A life that did not feel like it belonged to her.

In the early hours of the morning, she got up and looked at the moon from the window, taking care not to wake the maid, who was fast asleep on a camp bed on the floor.

It was going to be a long day, she knew. The journey was tedious, and she would need her energy if she was to make it through the journey without a row with her husband-to-be.

But alas, sleep did not seem to come, and when they met in the morning to break their fast before the onward journey, she was not feeling her best.

"Are you well?" Darcy asked across the table.

"I did not sleep," she admitted.

"Was it too loud?" he asked. "Or was the bed uncomfortable? I'm sorry. We should have—"

She shook her head. "No, I was just overthinking things. I'm sure... Never mind. Perhaps I can doze in the carriage."

He nodded. "Before we go," he said, "there's something I wish to say." He sounded surprisingly firm, and he was struggling to meet her eye.

"I have thought long and hard about what you said yesterday. I acted in what I thought was the best interests of my friend and Miss Bennet, for a marriage without affection seems doomed to fail.

"But if I was wrong, I am sorry. I did not know before what it felt like to be in love, what a person might feel if that love was taken away from them. I will do my best to rectify the situation, if indeed you are correct about the feelings of all those involved."

Elizabeth was aghast.

She had not expected him to admit wrongdoing.

She had not expected him to say he would try to fix matters.

But it was the other comment, the one about love, that really felt like a knife to her heart.

He hadn't known what love felt like before.

Chapter Twenty-Two

When they arrived at Meryton, Elizabeth was desperate to see Jane. She needed to see what she thought of this whole situation, because on the long journey she had not managed to think of a way to make it better unless she could magically fall in love with him. But she wasn’t sure that was so easy.

She had always wanted to marry for love. And she’d been willing to give that up, to secure a future for her family. But she hadn’t thought that he would think he was truly marrying for love.