Page 3

I'm awake before I want to be, the sheets stuck to my back, sweat cooling on my skin. Whoever claims time heals all wounds should have their skull split open to watch the lie spill out. Fourteen fucking years later, and still, in the darkest corners of my mind, I'm that same pathetic boy I once was. The boy who'd screamed for a mother who never gave a fuck about him.

Melina shifts beside me, her curved body wrapped in the white bedsheets that barely cover her bare skin, black hair fanned around my pillow. I watch her breathing, slow and shallow, and for a second, I'm tempted to wake her just to fuck her again—because that's what she does. Tempts me into always wanting more but then leaves my skin burning with disgust to the point that scrubbing is useless; she's a part of me. I don't know what's worse: the fact I let her in or the fact I need her. Because for the briefest moment when I'm with her, I can forget the screams. The blood. The memories that haunt every nightmare.

I swing my legs from the bed, pressing my elbows against my thighs and taking my face in my hands, pushing my fingers into my eyes as I try to breathe. Fourteen years, and every night I still relive the moment that proved to the world I was worth nothing. God, I'm pathetic. Grabbing my smokes and boxers, I move to the balcony.

The manor is eerily quiet at this hour. The distant hum of traffic and my own breath is the only noise to keep me company, aside from my thoughts, which don't seem to let up. You'd think after being here for so long, I'd be over the fact my mother sold me like fucking cattle. I was only eight when they brought me here. When I was first introduced to Archie's sick little secret society, he liked to call The Order. I can't remember much from before; the only memories I have are the severe hunger pains from going days without eating, or the sound of hammering fists against the door from another dealer she'd pissed off. When I came to the manor, all skin and bone, not much to look at, I was surprised they kept me.

He's got a fire in his belly, Adrian. We can use that here. Archie's voice rings in my ears, and it's almost as if I'm back to being that small child again.

I push off the railing and snatch a cigarette from the pack, getting more and more pissed off as the flame keeps flickering out every time I try to light it. "Fuck's sake, come on," I mutter on the sixth attempt.

"Need a light?" Her voice fills the silence. I didn't hear her wake up, but it wouldn't have mattered if I did. She's like a leech, always attached to my hip when she's here.

"No," I reply coldly.

She ignores me, as always, and moves closer. My nose fills with the same perfume she's worn since she was a teenager. The same flowery shit that used to stick to my pillow every night she'd sneak inside. Once, I loved nothing more than having her close to me, but now it just fills me with emptiness.

"Don't be such a baby, it's only a light." Her hand slips across my bicep, nails pressing in as she tugs at me to face her. I roll my eyes, moving slightly, cigarette dangling from my mouth. She leans up on her toes, her eyes never leaving mine as she lights it.

I don't thank her. Fuck, I don't even want to speak to her.

"You're welcome." She laughs, leaning against the railing, too. She's naked, only her long, black hair covering her breasts. Trying to avoid the sight of her, I keep my eyes focused on the flashing lights in the distance.

"Why are you still here?" I take a drag on my cigarette, letting the smoke fill my lungs before breathing out.

"Do you remember your first day here?" She doesn't look at me, just stares out into the distance as she speaks.

Do I remember my first day? What kind of fucking question is that? It's unlikely I'm ever going to forget one of the worst times of my life, being bundled into a huge manor beside some girls who were all sobbing. The whip marks still burning into my back, wrists bloody and scabbed from restraints. Fuck, I'll never forget the way the spotlight made my eyes ache.

"I try to forget," I lie through my teeth. She shifts closer to me, her body radiating warmth.

"We both know that's a lie."

My jaw tightens. We do, but I won't admit it.

"Why don't you come back to bed?" Her voice is low and sultry, my cock already twitching to life in my boxers at the thought of being inside her again. Fuck. She's fucking annoying, but so is my fucking dick. Walk away. Walk the fuck away, I command myself. Get the fuck away from her before you've got her bent over the balcony's fucking railing.

"Why don't you leave?" I shove her hard, pushing past her as I make my way back into the bedroom.

"Why would I do that?" Her laugh grinds against me. "I want to continue what we started⁠—"

"Because I've already fucked you, Melina. You know the rule."

"Why do you always do this, Ace?" I can hear the hurt in her voice. It punches through me like a bullet, but I shove it out. "Why do you always freeze me out? You used to love when I'd come to your room. We'd spend hours talking. Why does it have to change?"

I used to love a lot of things, including you. I shake my head, thumb dragging across the stubble on my jaw. "Can you hear how needy you sound right now? Just leave. Go irritate someone else."

"Needy?" She tilts her head, teeth grazing her bottom lip. "You want to call me needy? The man who can't go a day without sobbing in his sleep over a mother who doesn't love him, or better yet…" She takes a step closer. "The man who slaughters people in such a way that their loved ones can't identify them, but then spends the rest of his poor, pathetic life haunted by their screams."

She circles me like a hawk stalking its prey, making it impossible to tear my eyes away from her.

"So, Ace, who needs who, really? I offer you the comfort of a release that doesn't require blood. I offer you the comfort of a body to distract yourself with when their screams get too much. So tell me again—why do you insist on punishing us both by freezing me out?"

I almost take the bait. The words are on the edge of my tongue. Ignore her. Fucking ignore her. She knows why. She fucking knows what she did, how every night I despise her visits, yet as soon as her legs are spread, I struggle to fight the urge to fuck her raw. That every time she's close, it takes every ounce of strength not to drive myself inside her—or worse, choke her to death. I loved her once, before all this hatred and rage that now builds inside me whenever she's close. She was my first…fuck, everything. The first girl I kissed. My first crush. My first real friend, but that didn't stop her from destroying me. Now every kiss, every touch, is just a reminder of what we once were. I'd loved her. More than anything in this world. The kind of love where they crawl into your mind and take over. Every sense, every thought, every feeling was for her.

To the world, she was just the pretty daughter of Archie Reigns. But to me? She was the fucking world. But then she destroyed it. She destroyed me, and I don't think I can ever move past that. Love quickly turned to hate, and there's no going back.

"You know what happens when you don't make me happy, Ace." She stands closer behind me, trailing a hand against the skin down my back.