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Aria… I could perhaps talk to Aria. Then again, she’s not only just Beau’s cousin, but also Locks. While I like her and trust our friendship, she’s their family at the end of the day, and her loyalty may lie with Lock over Beau for honor’s sake.

I startle as my phone vibrates in my hand. Mom lights up the screen.

I can’t talk to her right now. Haven’t been able to talk to her much at all over the last month. Every time she calls, I’ve either been ignoring, like I do now, or our conversations only last a few minutes.

I fear she’ll be able to hear it in my voice. She’ll know that I’ve been straying from what I should be doing.

It’s already almost ten in the morning. I’m supposed to be at the badminton tournament by noon, with Annabeth picking me up half an hour prior.

Getting ready is a blur. I scrub away Beau’s touch in the shower for the second time since last night, but I swear I can still see every place he touched me. I make quick work of blowing out my hair and keep my makeup fresh. Just as I’m finishing up, I notice the small hickey at the base of my throat.

The sight of it makes my core clench, then shame immediately follows. I cover it with concealer, set with powder, and add a thicker necklace on for extra measure.

I throw on a light yellow dress and matching wedges. When I look in the mirror, I’m surprisingly put together for the turmoil currently rolling in my stomach.

When it’s time, I head outside to find Annabeth waiting, always punctual. We exchange a few words, but once the initial greetings die down, I don’t try to continue the conversation.

Not as I think about Beau and Lock, Lock and Beau, the entire drive there. I can’t avoid either of them. One I’ll be with all day today, having to smile and network and pretend like he didn’t have his hand in places no one else has been less than twenty-four hours ago. And the other I’ll see tomorrow morning for tea, where I’ll have to pretend as if his brother didn’t make my legs shake as he made me come.

What a bloody fucking mess I’ve gotten myself into.

I don’t know if I can continue in a relationship with Lock when I continue to stack up secrets. Even if I never see Beau again, which could never happen, I’d still always know what happened.

But I don’t want to end it with Lock. Not when he said it himself, that we can be good together. That I’ll be a good queen.

It’s just that I’ve been forced to spend so much time with one and so little with the other. Once this summer campaign is done, I’ll have no reason to see Beau other than palace events, which I’ll always be attending with Lock.

I just need to shove these past mistakes down, down, down, and focus on making it through the last month of this.

I can do that.

I can do this.

We pull up to the field and guilt gnaws at me that I can barely appreciate all the hard work the team has done with the set-up because I’m already scanning for Beau.

Not on the courts, not by the stands, not under one of the white tents filled with plants, tables, chairs, and a fully stocked bar.

He’s nowhere to be found.

Maybe that’s the universe sending me a mercy I don’t deserve that I have a moment to collect myself here before he arrives.

The security team waves me through, and I head straight for Juliette. She’s speaking with the referees, and when she spots me, beckons me over.

“Perfect timing,” she says and pulls me in for a hug. “We were just going over the introduction plans for today’s matches. The first one will kick off at one fifteen p.m., so you and Beau will introduce the players and the purpose of today before then.”

“Sounds great.” I smile, hoping she can’t see the nerves hidden behind it.

“Do you need a notecard for today?”

I shake my head. “I got the spiel down by now.”

We laugh, but then she gets distracted by something over my shoulder.

I fully expect to see Beau sauntering in, late and unbothered, but it’s not him. A different sense of dread coils in my stomach.

“Edwin, lovely to see you again.” Juliette greets him with a handshake. “I didn’t realize you’d be joining us today.”

The old gentleman adjusts his cufflinks. “I’m here on behalf of the Caulfield family today, as Beauford is not able to attend.”