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“You only say that,” Bask says, “because last season you were their court jester, distracting everyone who even tried to get a piece of Gavin and Connor.”

“It was a tough job,” I say, grinning at him. “But someone had to do it.”

“And you did it perfectly,” Gavin says as he enters the locker room, holding onto Connor’s hand. He lets it go when he reaches me and gives me a giant bear hug.

Okay. Things feel back to normal now. I don’t know why I was feeling off.

He lets go of me and goes to greet the rest of the team as Connor comes and gives me a hug as well. “It’s good to see you,” he says. “How was the rest of your summer?”

“Good.” I thump him on the back. “Busy, you know?”

“Oh, I know.” Connor laughs. “How many pictures of Shutzie did you send us?”

“He’s photogenic!” I defend. Because, yeah, well, I did send him and Gavin like ten pictures a day of my adorable puppy. “You gotta come by tonight and meet him.”

“We will,” Gavin says from his stall across the room from mine. He and Connor have been placed next to each other.

“We’d have come by yesterday,” Connor says, as he walks across the locker room. “But we got in so late. We didn’t even have time to fully unpack before we went to bed.”

“Next year we’ll have to come back sooner,” Gavin says.

“No, we won’t,” Connor says, grinning at him like they’re still lost in their own private bubble. A bubble which is going to burst as soon as we all step out onto the ice.

I know for a fact that their little haven away from it all in Alaska was good for them. Whenever we spoke it was clear they were at peace. As if they didn’t have a care in the world. As if the outside world couldn’t touch them. As if Connor’s father didn’t exist. They earned that after everything they went through.

As I watch them get ready for practice together, I can’t help but think about my brother and Ryan. It’s interesting seeing these two couples, both of which contain some of the most important men in the world to me, navigate their situations. The difference between them is stark and unfair.

Gavin and Connor, against their will, were forced into the spotlight. Their every move scrutinized. Gavin especially takes the brunt of the negative press, which I assume is how he wants it. It’s not like he’ll ever let anyone give Connor any heat on the matter. But I also don’t think it’s fair that he takes so much judgement simply for not being gay in the way the world wants him to be. He’s blunt, aggressive, and angry. I don’t blame him. The life he’s had would do that to anyone. But underneath that, he’s also strong and has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know.

And as for Brandon and Ryan, they’re hiding in plain sight. To the average eye, they’re nothing but two hockey bros. Typical athletes who no one would ever suspect were gay. Because again, why would they? When most of the world envisions gay men, they assume fashionable, good at decorating and flamboyant, which is downright insulting. Not because fitting that image is a bad thing, but because the assumption is that gay men can’t be anything else. If my brother and Ryan ever get outed, I worry about what the reaction would be like.

I’m sad to know that it likely wouldn’t be good. At some point, I need to ask him if they have a plan. And I also need to make sure he knows that I’d have his and Ryan’s back the same way I had Connor and Gavin’s when they needed it.

I wonder if Nikolai would have their backs, too? I think he would. As a straight man, he’s obviously comfortable with them.

“Hey, Bouch!” Gavin says, breaking me from my thoughts. “Is it true you were palling around with Ivanov this summer? I thought that guy hated you?”

I look across the locker room and catch his eye, then shrug. “He’s a nice guy.”

“He seemed nice to me,” Connor says before his lips pull into a guilty smile. “Until I flicked that puck top shelf on him.”

“Yeah…” I say. “He didn’t take that well.”

“It’s part of the game,” Tavish says and comes by Connor to give him a high five. He then makes his way to me and places his hand on my shoulder while I’m lacing up my skates. “Not every team can have Bouchard on it!”

I grin at him. “Technically the Mules do have a Bouchard now actually.”

“Sure,” Tavish says. “But not one who can eat pucks like you can.”

“That’s true,” I say. “Unlike you, he still has all his teeth.”

“Fuck off.” Tavish laughs along with the rest of the locker room.

And yeah, it’s good to be home. Everything and everyone are right where we all belong.

Nikolai

Okay. Ander was correct. Moving during the first week of training camp was a terrible idea. I’m exhausted after each practice. It’s eight hours a day of drills, conditioning, endurance, and weight training. And even though I did as Brandon suggested and hired movers, I still have to unpack everything.